I’m a little behind, but now I’m updating my reviews. I’ve seen the last three episodes, and since this is an ongoing story, I’m going to treat them like a single thing. Believe me, you won’t notice any difference. Honestly, in my mind they’re all mixed up. Anyway… We’re slowly staggering to the agonizing end, but we’ll get there, at least we’ll be trying until our last breath.
Last time I’d checked, this pretty and “strong” woman was lying in bed with an unconscious Truman, but he wasn’t as lucky as I’d thought, since she tried to strangle her. This is one of those clichés: an assassin tries to strangle the hero, but he quickly puts his hand between his neck and the piano wire that is about to cut off his jugular, throat and everything else. Amazingly, the hero’s hand is never seriously hurt, when, in real life, the string would sever muscles, nerves, etc, and get to the bone, saving his life, but rendering that hand most probably useless for life. I’m amazed at how much abuse hands get in movies and TV shows, yet the damage is always treated as a simple flesh wound. Wrap it with a bandage and you’re ready to go.
Bonsai: the ultimate miniature. (Which reminds me I have a giant bonsai in my backyard.) Ah! The old microphone-in-the-bonsai-tree trick! (As Maxwell Smart would’ve described it.) Windom Earle had a chess thing and now he has a card thing. But he also uses expert electronics to spy on Cooper. And he’s a master of disguises. It’s amazing how unnecessarily elaborate TV criminals are. How many tropes rolled into just one character? Oh, and Windom Earle is now a petroglyph expert as well. Add that to his list of gimmicks.
Windom Earle is such a criminal mastermind that he left Coop completely bewildered. Windom Earle (and I can only refer to him by his full name) is changing the pattern of the game board so any hope of deducing his next move has evaporated! And what a hilarious moment it was when Leo electrocuted himself, trying to use the zapper remote as a weapon! That was perfect!
Oh, and… Windom Earle has a new minion, apparently. How does he get them? By lying there’s a party with beer, or so it seems. It turns out the kid was just a “messenger” to give Coop a message. And Coop got the message. I don’t know why they made such a big suspense about what was in the gazebo at the end of the episode. I really thought it was a body. And it turns out… It was a body. Next time it’ll be someone Coop knows. Well, I hope he goes through with his promise, because two episodes later, that detail had been completely forgotten. Will Coop lose somebody he loves by the end of the show?
And then it hit me: of course this is why Coop and Audrey fell out of love so quickly and now even have new romantic interests. At least I understand Annie’s role in all this: she’/s the one that’s going to be sacrificed, so the writers wouldn’t need to touch Audrey, who is a main character, as opposed to Heather Graham, a mere guest star. And as we’ve learned in Lost, guest stars usually get killed. By the way, I have a close recollection of the time when Heather thing was the hottest thing on TV and in the movies. What’s she up to these days?
New drama: Audrey’s father and Donna’s mother have a thing. Perhaps the two girls are sisters? Conveniently, everybody is involved with everybody in such a small town. Oh, and that reminds me of a little thing I just realized: the actress that plays Eileen, Mary Jo Deschanel, a lady of interesting beauty, happens to be the mother of Emily and Zooey Deschanel, who usually plays “quirky brunette the protagonist falls in love with” because she’s that adorable. The old lesson is true: beautiful parents usually make beautiful children.
Andy practicing spelunking in the precinct reminded me of the fact this show sometimes tries to be a sitcom, a show in which characters do quirky things out of a thin excuse and whose real reason is to create a funny scene, or a comedic situation. OK, OK, now I realize the spelunking is connected to the Owl Cave story line that would come later, but in the end Andy didn’t have to do any spelunking in Owl Cave. But he did get his pickax stuck in the symbol, so that was the point of the whole thing I guess. What bewilders me is that he only got to stick his pickax there because the owl seemingly attacked them. In other words, it was all a reaction from Andy. Did the owl know this would happen and do it on purpose?
Of course, that thing protruding from the wall is a a petroglyph. That’s the first thing I thought. Sure, what else could it be? Seriously now, how did they even know the word petroglyph existed? And then, in the end, they just left the cave and left the petroglyph there unguarded.
As we’ve learned to expect, Ben develops another quirky habit just to make things a bit surreal. This time he carries carrots in his breast pocket, and offers carrots to people. Did you know that orange variety of carrot was developed by the Dutch or something because the Dutch love the color orange and it was a tribute to their king? Not that relates to the show in any way, but if Ben can have carrots in his suit pockets, I can ramble about them. And his son, crazy Johnny, adds a little more to the quirky surrealism of the scenes involving the male Hornes. This time he was doing an Indian chief impersonation, and I’m quite sure that would be way politically incorrect for today’s television.
Unfortunately for Audrey, her new prince charming, Billy Zane, has to disappear as quickly as he appeared. Apparently some tragedy in Brazil. Indeed, we’re full of them. What was happening in Brazil in 1991? Oh, I know! Justice Wheeler had to go to Rock in Rio because he couldn’t miss the live performance of Guns N’ Roses.
Continuing with the story, we get some wisdom tidbits from Bobby: Beautiful people get everything they want. But then how do you explain both Bobby and Shelly are such losers? But I fully agree she’s Miss Twin Peaks material. Who are you guys rooting for? “This world of Twin Peaks seems to be filled with beautiful women,” says the man who hired the casting director. I think Gordon is too clownish for my taste, but I did appreciate the funny situation in which the only person Gordon could hear clearly was Shelly, who mesmerized him.
Extra! Extra! Corruption in Miss Twin Peaks contest! Accusations of nepotism abound! Guys, chill out. It’s just a small town beauty pageant, yet they treat it like it’s the main event in the world press at the moment. Why does Lana want to win so badly? Not that she really needs much help. (But then, the competition is really tough.) But of course the Miss Twin Peaks pageant is riddled with corruption: the initial judging committee consists of three old white men: it’s 100% Patriarchal White Privilege!
Well, at least we can put our minds at ease knowing that the age of the ogling, swim-suited jiggle festivals of the past is over and now environmental issues dwarf any parochial business concerns. It’s time to kick butt for our environment. Oh, Bobby, you’re a poet.
We learn one more thing about Coop: he’s not a big fan of fish, least of all the red herring. His aversion to fish must have started when they found a fish in the percolator. Though I’ve never tried that, I don’t think that tastes very good.
Anyway, the entire story line involving Catherine has a mysterious message box in it. And she gets a visit from Sheriff Truman, who asks her to tell him more about Josie. But how come he didn’t find it strange Josie ended working as Catherine’s maid all of a sudden?
Perhaps we’d better focus on the mystery box. Obviously it needs a combination to open, but in such cases we just have to drop the box and symbols and moon phases pictures appear. Then all we need to do is to smash the box with a heavy object. A mystery made of flimsy wood, therefore not that hard to crack after all.
But the mystery we really want solved is that of Owl Cave, and whatever Major Briggs has to do with all that. With so much on his shoulders, no wonder his greatest concern is whether the possibility of love is not enough!
Everything involving Briggs is weird. “Perhaps a walk in the haunted woods will clear my mind.” Sure, sure, what could possibly go wrong with that? And I’m glad they’re finally explaining things. So, now we know that there’s a time, if Jupiter and Saturn meet, they will receive you. Also, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars then peace will guide the planets. And love will steer the stars…
Because of this, the cave painting is a map to the black lodge and evil sorcerers are behind this fiendish plot! And The Giant tries to tell Dale a message. Bob’s arm appears in midair in the forest, then the entire body appears. Next to him we see the reflection of the red velvet room on what seems like a tar pit… And I’m so bewildered I’m not even trying anymore… At least I can be consoled by the fact that what we observe is not nature itself, but nature exposed to our method of questioning.
Episode 18: 6 Penguin wearing a tuxedo filled to the brim with a feeling of goodness.
Episode 19: 5 highly inefficient shots of drugs on a man’s ribcage through a jacket and shirt.
Episode 20: 6 mad and overworked dugpas.
