Fun Novelty Songs

chainsaw_metal1

chainsaw_metal1

Member: Rank 8
As far as Happy Xmas (War is Over), I hopped in the car the other day and was pleasantly surprised when it came on. A couple hours later I had to go get my son, and the Amy Grant version was playing. Not a fan. Then, yesterday, I get in and they're playing the Celine Dion version. Apparently, we can't get a law passed to keep terrible artists from ruining great songs.
 
Doctor Omega

Doctor Omega

Member: Rank 10
Take Brian May's wife and the theme tune of a soap she is acting in. Add some lyrics. Hey presto, you have a chart hit.


Anita Dobson | Anyone Can Fall In Love | EastEnders Theme | BBC | 1986



 
Doctor Omega

Doctor Omega

Member: Rank 10
Keith Harris & Orville - Orville's Song


Orville: I wish I could fly way up to the sky but I can't,

Keith: You can,

Orville: I can't!

Orville: I wish I could see what folks see in me but I can't,

Keith: You can,

Orville: I can't!

Keith: Look, Orville,

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Nothing that you can say Will change how I feel today: I know that we'll never part; Now hear what I'm saying, Orville?

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Who is your very best friend?

Orville: You are.

Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.

Orville: Thank you.

Orville: I wish that I had a mummy and dad but I don't,

Keith: You don't?

Orville: I don't!

Orville: I often pretend my sadness will end but it won't,

Keith: It will,

Orville: I won't!

Keith: Look, Orville,

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Now that I'm here with you, There's nothing that you can't do, So why don't you make a start And hear what I'm saying, Orville?

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Who is your very best friend?

Orville: You are.

Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.

Orville: Ahhh...

Orville: So does this mean although I'm green And not exactly bright, You want to care and will be there To tuck me in at night?

Keith: Well, I'll always be there, Orville!

Orville: The other birds laugh and say that I'm daft and I am,

Keith: You're not!

Orville: I am!

Orville: They tease me a lot and call me a clot and I am,

Keith: You're not!

Orville: I am!

Keith: Look, Orville?

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Nothing that you can say Will change how I feel today: I know that we'll never part; Now hear what I'm saying, Orville?

Orville: Yes?

Keith: Who is your very best friend?

Orville: You are.

Keith: I'm gonna help you mend your broken heart.


[Spoken] Orville: Thank you. 'Cos I've got a broken heart, haven't I?

Keith: Yes, I know, but I'm going to help you mend it.

Orville: You, you will do it, won't you. You'll help me?

Keith: Of course.

Orville: 'Cos you love me, don't you?

Keith: We all love you, Orville.

Orville: How, how, how much do you love me?

Keith: Ooh... this much!

Orville: As much as that?

Keith: Yeah.

Orville: Ahhh... my broken heart.

Orville the duck and Keith Harris 1982



 
Doctor Omega

Doctor Omega

Member: Rank 10
Captain Beaky and his band


The bravest animals in the land are Captain Beaky and his band
That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat
They march through the woodlands singing songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Hissing Sid, an evil snake, kept the woodland folk awake
In fear and trembling every night
In case he gave someone a bite
Said Artful Owl, 'We'll lie in wait
And one of us will be the bait."
Said Captain Beaky, "Have no fear! For I alone will volunteer!"

"No, make it me!" Said Reckless Rat
I'll stand there in my reckless hat
When Hissing Sid picks up my trail,
I'll just lasso him with my tail!"

"Oh, good idea" said Timid Toad, "We'll hide a long way down the road.
And when you've overcome resistance,
We'll rush along to your assistance."

Said Batty Bat, "I've got a wheeze!
I'll fly and hide up in the trees!
If Hissing Sid should slither by
I'll drop a boulder from the sky!"

Said Artful Owl, "The idea sound…how will you lift it off the ground?"
Poor Batty Bat just scratched his head,
"I hadn't thought of that," he said.

Said Owl, "The rest of us hold back. There's only one that he'll attack."
Said Timid Toad, "I like your plan."
"Good luck," said Owl, "For you're the man!"

So Timid Toad, his eyes a-popping,
Into the woodland night went hopping
Captain Beaky waved his hand, followed by his trusty band
That's Artful Owl and Reckless Rat, and above the trees flew Batty Bat.

"Stop!" Said Beaky, "I hear squeaking!"
"It's Batty Bat" said Owl, "He's speaking!"
"It's all in code," said Reckless Rat
Said Owl, "I'll just decipher that."

"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…
I rather think we've got it wrong.
It reads 'can clearly see the road,
Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!
"You mustn't let him get away!"
And leaping off, said "Follow me!"
And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.
Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"
Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"
"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,
For they must find that snake's abode
Guided by old Batty Bat
Dot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spied
Were they too late? Was he inside?
Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a pole
And stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,
Right past his hole, no sign of stopping
Said Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,
"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!
Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"
And as the snake hopped out of sight,
Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy
And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?
For left alone, I felt quite sick,
And hopped into a hollow stick

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!
You jumped into that slippery snake."
"That was brave of Toad", said Rat
"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,
"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"
And as they marched off down the road,
They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,
With his wings stretched out, like that
Owl's idea, the clever fella
To have a flying um-ber-ella



 
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