Catweazle Episode 2 CASTLE SABURAC (NEW TRANSCRIPTION SCENE BY SCENE)

[michaellevenson]

FOLLOWING ON FROM EPISODE 1

Catweazle, the magician from 1066, who escaped from The Normans and ended up in 1970's England runs into Hexwood Farm Yard, looking for Carrot, the young boy who befriended him.
He looks skyward as an aeroplane roars overhead.


Confused and scared he turns looking for a hiding place, he sees Farmhand Sam in the work shed holding a welding torch. The welding flame sparkles and crackles Catweazle terrified. Sam senses someone looking at him.


Carrot is in the kitchen, he sees Catweazle through the window and runs out and pulls him inside, and into dining room. Catweazle immediately hides under the dining table, pulls out a piece of chalk from his robe and draws a circle around himself.

CW " Master, Master deliver me from the demon."
C" eh?"
CW " pins of lightning, the demon holds his blasting rod, the noise, spppiss, spisss, spissss."
C( shouts) " get up!"
CW "gab gabba agabba "
C " GET UP!"
Carrot pulls him up,
C " you've got me into enough trouble already." ( Catweazle recently broke the kitchen window climbing out, for which Carrot got blamed).
The kettle on the stove whistles, Catweazle fearing it,
CW " arrgghh, tis the demon."
C " it's only the kettle."
CW " the kettle? It screams like a mandrake."
C " I thought you'd gone, why did you come back for?"
CW " thy magic O Master "
C" eh?"
CW " thy strange world hums with it, even in the sky, great fishes with wings roaring. Teach me thy magic and I will serve thee."
Carrot hears his Dad George entering kitchen, he runs out and over to sink, fills teapot with water from kettle.
C " hello dad"
G " what's up?"
C "nothing dad"
G " you've got your voice back then?"
C " yes Dad"
George eyes Carrot suspiciously, his son is being very diligent in getting breakfast ready.
G "you've not broken another window have you?"
C " course not"
G " you're up to something my lad"
Carrot takes teapot into dining room, luckily Catweazle is gone.
C " breakfast dad?"
George sits at table.
G " only time for a cuppa "
C " what about the bangers?"
G" have them cold tonight."
Theda, a lady in her 30's enters, the home help, who does a couple of mornings a week.
Th " morning Carrot "
C " hello Theda"
Theda goes into kitchen, Carrot is under dining table with cloth trying to rub out the chalk circle that Catweazle drew.
G " what are you doing?"
C " er...I spilt some milk"
George is sniffing milk bottle,
G " it's in here now"
C " what is?"
G " that smell"
C ( innocently) " is it?
G " I wonder if our drains are alright."
Carrot knows it's the smell of Catweazle.
Theda notices window broken.
Th " here, who did that?"
G " he did, larking about last night."

Theda returns to kitchen, George gets up,
G " that window comes out of your pocket money."
Carrot puzzled, where has Catweazle gone?
In kitchen George looks at Theda, then nods in direction of washing machine.
G " good drying day today."
Th " yes Mr Bennett "
She's got the hint.

Carrot has walked upstairs, he sniffs, and sniffs again, then enters his bedroom.
He opens wardrobe to see Catweazle inside.

C " look Catweazle this has got to stop"
CW " by what magic did thy find me?"
C " I followed my nose"
CW " your nose?"
C " where d'you go to last night anyway?"
CW " I found a little house, it smelt of chickens"
C " oh the old hen house in Home Field, thought they knocked that down"
CW " let me stay O Master"
C " what am I going to do with you? Don't know why I couldn't tell Dad about you last night."
Catweazle takes out his witch knife Adamcos from around his neck.
CW " thou has sworn on Adamcos, twas my magic, show me thine I entreat thee, thy electrickery "
C " alright "
Carrot goes over to table lamp and pulls cord, the lamp comes on.
C " there, happy now."
Carrot removes bulb and hands it to Catweazle.

CW " oh, tis wondrous truly, shine tiny sun"
Catweazle pulls lamp cord, nothing of course happens, Carrot can't help but smile.
C " no, no, you have to put it in the lamp."
CW " where?"
C (points) " there"
Carrot can hear motor vehicle outside, he goes to window, George is in the Land Rover driving off.
C " I wonder if I dare"
CW " what?"
C" it's a good idea"

 

[michaellevenson]

Theda is in kitchen talking to Sam who is repairing the broken window.
Th " it stands to reason Sam, if he was in the house I'd have seen him when I first came in, wouldn't I?"
S " I don't care what you say, I'm sure I saw him, Carrot took him in, dressed all queer he was, like a monk"
Sam is tapping out the broken pane with a hammer.

Th " mind you don't cut yourself."
S (knicking thumb on glass) " ooww!"
Theda smiles mischievously,
Th " I told thee to mind."

In the bathroom Carrot is running a bath, Catweazle nervously enters,
C " come in, shut the door."
Catweazle sees the toilet in the corner, with a chain hanging down. He grabs chain, and points to light, thinking it operates light, pulls it. The toilet flushes, poor Catweazle runs scared.
CW " aaarrghhh!"
C " it's alright, come back, come on,( points to robe), take that off"
CW (puzzled) " why?"
C " you don't want to get it wet."
CW " wet,( suddenly realising), NO NO, not in the water, do not put me in the water, I shall drown."
C ( laughing) " what, in that?"
CW " thy legless lizard, thy wriggling grub, thy beetle. "
C " no use calling me names, get in, I SAID GET IN"
Catweazle dips his toe in,
CW " aaarrghhh IT BURNS IT BURNS!!"
C " okay I'll put some more cold in"
CW " when I escape from here I'll cast such a spell."
Carrot adds cold water as Catweazle glares,
C " there that should be alright, get back in"

In the kitchen Theda can hear the splashing water.
Th" funny time to have a bath."

Catweazle is in, robe off, Carrot picks up the soap,
C " see it's lovely, you'll feel great after this."
Catweazle takes soap puzzled, Carrot shows him how to use it ,
C " got it? You do it, I'll get some clean towels , won't be a minute, don't go away"

Carrot grins and leaves bathroom and goes into airing cupboard to get towels. Unfortunately Theda turns up.
Th " here what are you up to? I thought you were having a bath."
C " er...I was, I mean I am."
Splashing noises are heard from bathroom, Theda goes in and SCREAMS as she sees Catweazle in bath.
CW " OUT WOMAN"
Catweazle stands, and climbs out of bath, grabs bathmat to wrap around his waist, as Theda just stands and screams.

Catweazle removes Adamcos from around neck, and points knife in Theda's direction.
CW " look into my eyes, learn the mysteries, know that I am Catweazle sorcerer, Master of the black arts."
Theda's eyes grow heavy, she falls asleep where she stands.
C " crumbs! You've hypnotised her."
CW " I don the cloak of darkness, I am limbo, invisible. When thou wakes thou shall not see me, invisible "
Th" invisible "
CW " it is done, thou can wake."
Theda wakes,
Th" anything you want washing Carrot?"
C " fantastic "
Th" what d'you say?"
C " nothing."
Theda cannot see Catweazle or bathmat.
Th " where's that bathmat gone?"
She collects laundry from wicker basket and leaves.
CW " where is it?"
C " what?"
CW " my robe"
C " CRUMBS, she's taken it!"

 

[michaellevenson]

In the garden Theda is hanging out the washing, including Catweazle's robe, Sam is with her. Carrot and Catweazle with a towel around his waist look on from the bushes.
CW " I will have it"
C " hang on, Sam may see you"
Carrot puts a restraining hand on him.
CW " unhand me acorn, I care not."
Catweazle breaks cover, runs up to line,and calmly removes robe.


Sam stares dumbfounded, Theda can't see a thing.
Catweazle runs back to Carrot.
S " the old monk"
Th " what?"
S ( pointing)" there, well you must have seen him"
Catweazle back with Carrot,
C " where are you going?"
CW " to my little house"
Catweazle runs off, Sam calls out.
S " Carrot you seen him didn't you?"
C " who?"
S " that old monk"
C " what old monk?"
S ( agitated)"Theda, you must have seen him, he had practically nothing on"
Theda looks worried for Sam and runs off crying out,
Th " Mr Bennett, Mr Bennett "
Carrot approaches,
S " you must have seen him"
C " steady on Sam"
S " he grabbed something from the line."
C " did he?"
S " then ran off"
Theda comes back with George. Theda carrying a stool.
G " now Sam, what's the matter, been at the cider again?"
S " I saw him I tell you"
Th" sit down Sam."
S " I don't wanna sit down."
G ( barks) " SIT DOWN "

Sam reluctantly sits,
S " are you trying to tell me that none of you seen him? But you were with me Theda"
G " calm down Sam"
S " Mr Bennett I'm not making any of this up. There's an old fella running around this farm half naked"
G " well, if I see him I'll tell him to go away, hmm?"
S " you mean it was a sort of dream?"
G" that's more like it Sam"
Th" you feeling better?"
Sam brushes away Theda's hand on his arm.
S " I don't know.....I suppose so."
G " good man, you've had some sort of hallucination if you ask me, nothing to worry about, you're alright now."
S " held up things a bit haven't I?"
G " you have a bit"
S " better go and work it off on something."
G " tell you what, you could try knocking down the old hen house."
S " alright Mr Bennett, I'll get the axe."
Sam trudges off, Carrot has the beginning of a grin on his face, George eyes him a bit suspiciously, then goes too.

Catweazle is in the henhouse getting into his robe and sneezing. Through the window he sees Sam walking towards hut carrying axe. Catweazle picks up length of rope, and ties one end to door handle, the other end to a hook in the wall.
Sam tries to enter but can't, he pulls and pulls at door.
The door flings open and Catweazle runs out brandishing his knife.

Sam stunned,
S " I must be going nuts!"
CW " I am invisible."
S " oh I wish you were."
Catweazle recites a magic spell in Latin to a perplexed Sam.
S ( angry) " don't use bad language at me"
Sam reaches out and touches Catweazle.
S " you ARE real, you're not a dream"
Catweazle runs back into henhouse, and shuts door, Sam tries to pull door open again, causing the whole rickety wooden hut to collapse.
Sam is on the grass, bits of wooden shack on top of him, Catweazle runs off, Sam stands and gives chase ,with axe in hand.
Carrot has viewed all this and runs off after both of them.
Deep into the woods ,in a clearing stands a derelict house, totally ramshackle, no windows or even flooring, just floorboards and dust and debris.

 

[michaellevenson]

Catweazle slumps down on the remains of an old mattress, sad, lonely, and close to tears.
CW " treacherous boy, if I could only find somewhere to hide from men's eyes. I belong nowhere, nowhere "
Carrot arrives at the house a couple of minutes later. Catweazle is fast asleep, Carrot creeps up to him, then,
C " BOO !!"
Catweazle wakes startled,
C( shouts) " MAY YOUR TOES CURL UP AND DROP OFF LIKE DEAD LEAVES "
C " the same to you"
CW " where is the hunter?'
C " Sam? Miles away, given up by now"
CW " thou liest he is near"
C " no he's not"
CW " I know that he is thou ferret "
C " how?"
CW " I see him"
C" where?"
CW ( points at his forehead)" here."
Carrot gasps, Sam is approaching house,
C ," quick hide"

Carrot pushes Catweazle up the dilapidated staircase, and into a bedroom, or what's left of it. The floor is virtually gone, all except a bit of floor about two feet square next to doorway. Catweazle stands behind door on this bit of floor, looking down at the ground floor below as Sam enters still carrying axe.
S " what are you up to?"
C " playing"
S " what at?"
C " hide and seek"
S " oh....hey, who with?"
C " you"
S " very funny, sure you weren't looking for somebody?"
C " er..no"
Sam climbs the stairs, opens door to bedroom, Catweazle hiding behind it, then Sam goes back down.

All Sam actually has to do is look straight up and he'll see Catweazle perched on that bit of floor, but he doesn't.
S " something funny is going on, it's all a bit above my head."

Carrot is relieved as Sam heads out of the house.
S " I ain't daft you know, I'll get the old devil yet."
When the coast is clear, Carrot signals and Catweazle comes down and out the house into the woods, unfortunately Sam catches a glimpse of him running off, and gives chase.
S " hey you.....come back."

Catweazle runs , he comes to a fork on the path he is following, he goes right, Sam a few seconds later reaches fork, but he goes left. Another ten seconds and Carrot turns up , he goes right and ends up in a clearing in the heart of the wood.
The clearing is dominated by a large metal structure, a sign at the base of the structure says, ' Danger- War Department '
It is a water tank, about 15 feet tall, a large bowl like top, accessed by a ladder, the bowl supported by metal struts.
Carrot scratches his head puzzled,
C " Catweazle, it's alright he's gone"

Catweazle's voice is heard from on high.
CW " here boy"
Catweazle, upper body sticking out of top of tank.
C " how did you get up there?"
CW " I climbed"
C " you can't go up there"
CW " why not?"
C " it's full of water"
CW " nay it is empty "
C " is it, but it belongs to the army."
CW " I see no soldiers, tis my castle."
C " Dad says it isn't safe"
CW " no arrow could pierce this, come up."
Carrot ascends ladder and climbs down into tank via a hatch, the tank has a top like a roof. It is indeed empty of water, but evidence that tramps may have slept in it. Junk scatters the inside of the metal tank, which is about 6 feet tall, so Catweazle comfortably can stand in it.
CW " welcome "
C " this is super."
CW " Saburac, one of the spirits of the brazen vessel brought me here. In his honour I have named it Castle Saburac, for it is a magic place"
C " Castle Saburac, yeah it's terrific."
CW " but wonder upon wonder, another comes"
C " another what?"
CW " the spirits brought him, see"
Catweazle takes out his toad Touchwood, first time Carrot sees it.
CW " my familiar, Touchwood. We will do great things, he and I, and thou boy. Now my magic is assured."

Cast;
Carrot.....Robin Davies
Catweazle.....Geoffrey Bayldon
George Bennett......Charles Tingwell
Sam....Neil Mccarthy
Theda....Marjie Lawrence

Next episode;

Catweazle Episode 3 THE CURSE OF RAPKYN (NEW TRANSCRIPTION scene by scene)

In Hexwood farm, George Bennett and son, Carrot are at the breakfast table. Carrot is secretly dropping bits of toast on the floor feeding Beelzeebub, his pet tortoise. C " here.." George is reading the newspaper hears this, G " what Carrot?" C " nothing " G " more tea?" C " no thanks " Carrot...

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