Catweazle Episode 15- DUCK HALT ( NEW TRANSCRIPTION SCENE BY SCENE))

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Catweazle recently having time travelled to the 20th century for a second time, is outside King's Farthing, the ancestral home of the Collingfords, it is early morning and Catweazle runs up to the mansion looking for a way in. He spies a half open ground floor window, pulls it up and climbs in. His destination is Cedric's bedroom, the boy Catweazle encountered recently in a secret cellar below the house.
Catweazle quietly enters the bedroom, Cedric is asleep, a ticking clock next to the bed shows 5 am. Catweazle moves over to a pillar, by turning this slightly he unlocks the secret panel that gives access to stairs that lead down to the cellar. He is about to climb through when a hand is put on his shoulder, Cedric is awake.
Cd " just a minute"
CW ( kneeling) " mercy thy master."
Cd " will you shut up. I'm getting very fed up with you"

CW " do not be angry."
Cd " but you can't keep coming here."
CW " show me thy secret chamber and thy magic book."
Cd " no!"
CW " has thou forgotten?"
Cd " what?"
CW " the flying spell, the magic signs of the zodiac"
Cd " you mean great great grandfather's rhyme."
CW " 12 are they that circle round, if power you seek they must be found."
Catweazle opens a rag bundle he is holding to reveal the ornamental ram's head he acquired recently from the hallway of King's Farthing.
CW " see, sign of the ram, now I seek the sign of the bull."
Cd " jolly good, you get a bull and you'll be flying before you know it"
Cedric puts on his glasses and picks up bedside clock.
Cd " 5 o'clock! I don't get up till 8"

CW ( puzzled) " tat tat tat...why does it go tat tat."
Cd " well it wouldn't be much good if it didn't would it. Don't you really know what a clock is?"
CW " nay, it is magic."
Cd " tells you the time, you know, time to get up, time to eat, time to go to bed."
CW " this thing tells thee so?"
Cd " yes"
CW " does thou obey?"
Cd " of course."
CW " why? I rise when I wake, eat when I hunger, sleep when I weary.( prods at clock) I fear thee not, thy tatting tyrant."
Cd ( smiles) " you slay me"
CW " never, I am thy friend, is there any food?"
Cd " this isn't a hotel you know. Think I better get my father."
Cedric moves to door,
CW " what of thy secret chamber?"
Cedric turns back looking worried,
Cd "you wouldn't tell would you?"
A smile crosses Catweazle's face, he realises he has a bargaining position.
CW " ah...ha ha"
Cd " you wouldn't dare"
CW ( humming) " hhmmm hhmmm "
Cd " alright I promise I'll give you something to eat, come on"
CW " where shall I go?"
Cd " how about back to your Norman times"
At the front door, Catweazle steps out,
CW " where shall I live?"
Cd " have you really nowhere?"
CW " nay"
Cd " see those trees over there."
CW " aye"
Cd " wait for me there, I'll bring you some food"
CW " when?'
Cd " after breakfast."
CW " you will not fail me?"
Cd " see it wet, see it dry, cut my throat if I tell a lie."

Catweazle pulls a face of puzzlement then runs off to trees at edge of property, a few hundred yards away.

In the library Cedric and handyman Groome carry large books, encyclopedias, and put them down on the table. Lord Collingford is there, looking at the pile of junk cluttering the room.
LC " amazing the rubbish one hangs on to isn't it"
Gr " yes My Lord "
Cd " Dad, if you were a hermit where would you live?"
LC " what a strange question, no idea, some sort of cave I suppose, why?"
Cd" just wondered"
Cedric runs off,
LC "where are you off to in such a hurry."
Cd " just out."

A small truck arrives at King's Farthing, the driver Mr Pickle gets out and rings the front door bell. He stares glaring at a flowering plant in the porch. He reaches for a handkerchief and lets out a sneeze.

Housekeeper Mrs Gowdy opens door.
MG " bless you Mr Pickle"
P " thanks Mrs Gowdy."
MG " your hay-fever is bad"
P " ruddy pollen, worst time of year for me"
MG " this way."
Pickle enters, meanwhile Cedric has reached edge of woods that surround mansion.
Cd " Catweazle?"
CW " here Owlface."
Catweazle is sitting up a tree on a branch.
Cd " what are you doing up there?"
CW " thinking "
Cd " what about?"
CW " magic."
In the library Mr Pickle is viewing the rubbish, his business is antiques and bric-a- brac.
Gr " I know it's junk Mr Pickle, but it's very high class junk"

Pickle points to tricycle,
P " and this?"
Gr" everything, this room is going to have the cavalry exhibition. That belonged to his Lordship's grandmother, campaigner for women's rights, but no sense of balance."
P " fanatic?"
Gr " no, just couldn't ride a two wheeler"
Pickle sneezes again,
Gr " bless you."
P " ta."

 

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Catweazle is sitting on the grass eating the food Cedric has provided, bread.
Cd " finding you somewhere to live isn't going to be easy."
CW " we must cast the runes, they will tell us."
Cd " the runes?"
Catweazle stands holding small sticks, three in each hand, he walks a few yards arms outstretched.

Cd " what are you playing at, cowboys and Indians?"
CW " maggot! Sit thee down."
Cedric sits opposite Catweazle who throws the sticks up in the air.
CW " pax sax sarrax"
Catweazle studies the sticks fallen to the ground in a seemingly haphazard pattern, but not to Catweazle.
CW " the dragon shall flee, behold he guards a mighty cave"
Cd " what mighty cave?"
CW " and see thou there, an enchanted house, it will be my new home "
Cd " is that the lot"
CW " the lot?"
Cd " what about a few magic beanstalks and a couple of giants, ( dismissively) honestly Catweazle."
CW " thou does not believe thy twittering turnip"
Cd " what, dragons guarding magic caves and enchanted houses "
CW " woodlouse! Thy shalt see."
Catweazle marches off into woods, Cedric follows.
Back at King's Farthing Mr Groome is seeing Mr Pickle to the door. Pickle's truck at the back is piled high with the rubbish.
Pickle walks towards his truck, stops, and sneezes again.
Gr " bless you Mr Pickle"
P " ta."

Cedric and Catweazle have been walking for sometime, Cedric stops at a bush with white flowers and picks one, and hooks it into his jumper.
Cd " so where is this mighty cave?"
CW " tis not here"
Cd" I'm tired, we've walked for miles."
CW " bah ! tut tut "
A car horn is heard, Cedric looks over, across field to road and building beyond.
Cd" hey , we've walked to Bodford, there's the pub."
Mr Pickle's truck is parked outside,
Cd " you can get food in there"
CW " huh?"
Cd " I'm not allowed in, but you can get something. Get two packets of crisps and a bottle of pop."
Cedric hands Catweazle a few coins,
Cd " there won't be any change"
CW " nay I can't...."
Cd " crisps and pop, get cracking "
CW ( puzzled)" crack crack... crisps and pop."
In the pub the landlord Bill is behind bar, Pickle sitting on stool.

B " lucky you called, I'll have it down for you in a minute"
P " ta Bill."
Catweazle enters looking a bit nervous.
B " yes, can I help you?"
CW " pips and crop"
B " eh?"
CW " er...crops and pip?"
B " I'm sorry but I don't quite follow."
CW " two bags"
P " I think he wants some crisps."
CW " aye, crisps"

Pickle sneezes again, and moves a vase of flowers on the bar away from him. Catweazle misunderstanding, picks flowers out of vase.
CW " I thank thee"
Bill places two bags of crisps down in front of Catweazle, and takes back flowers.
CW " pop"
B " what?"
CW " pop.....pop."
B " lemonade or orangeade?"
CW " nay pop"
Bill bangs down bottle of orange drink, Catweazle puts coins on bar,
B " that's right, no change."
Somehow having succeeded in this mission Catweazle leaves pub, with Pickle and Bill staring after him.

 

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Catweazle goes back to Cedric, sitting on grass on village green.
Cd " jolly good, put them down"
Cedric opens bottle of drink, it fizzes up out of bottle.
CW " it boils ! It boils !"
Cd " don't you like it fizzy?"
Catweazle leaps up in fear and notices something,
CW " look!"
Cd " what's the matter?"
Catweazle points to pub sign, a painting on the sign of a bull.
CW " behold the second sign of the zodiac, Taurus the bull."


Catweazle starts towards it, Cedric pulling him back.
CW " I will have it, unhand me"
Cd " don't you understand that's stealing."
CW "but it's the sign of the bull"
Cd " exactly, the old bull at Bodford and that's where it's staying."
Two men walk up to sign,
Cd " get down "
They duck behind Bush and continue arguing.
CW " without that I cannot fly"
At the sign are Bill and Pickle, Mr Pickle holding a ladder against sign as Bill climbs.
Cd " look, you're not having it and that's final."
CW " but I want it"
Cd " you can't have everything you want, it's bad for you"
CW " I beseech thee"
Cd " the sign stays where it is."
CW " I fear thee not."
Cd " if you take that sign it's not me you'll have to worry about."
Catweazle stands and gasps, the sign is gone.
Cd " what happened?"
CW " it is thou, thy magic has done this."
Cd " nothing to do with me, where is it?"
Catweazle takes his witch knife from around his neck and points it,
CW " it is near."

In the pub, Bill is showing Mr Pickle the new sign that will go up outside pub, a modern painting of a bull in garish colours.
B " fella from the Elderford Art School did it, more mature like."
P " hmmm, bit Picasso isn't it"
Outside Catweazle has climbed into the back of Pickle's truck, the old bull sign among the junk collected from King's Farthing.
Cedric anxiously sees Pickle walking out of pub towards truck.
Cd " get down, he's coming back."
Cedric darts out of sight, the truck starts up, and Catweazle still in the back as Mr Pickle drives off.

Cedric runs after truck as it speeds off.
About ten minutes later, the vehicle arrives at Pickle's business premises. The truck goes through wooden gates and into a covered yard.
Mr Pickle get out and goes to back of vehicle and starts unloading.
First he removes tricycle, and sees Catweazle crouching down holding on to bull sign from pub.
P " here, who are you?, don't be awkward."
CW " it is the sign"
P " I know it's the sign, get down"
CW ( in awe) " you know it's the sign?"
P " come on, get down."
CW " has thou more?"
P " more?"
CW " I seek them too"

Catweazle climbs down,
P " hop it"
Catweazle hops twice not amusing Pickle,
P " go on, get out of here."
Catweazle picks up pub sign and walks to door.
P " hey come back, that's mine"
CW " nay, it is mine"

The two struggle over sign, Pickle lets go as he sneezes, again. Catweazle loses balance and knocks into a table stacked high with crockery, most of which ends up smashed on the floor.
P ( shouts) " OH, MY LOVELY CHINA"
Cedric is still running, he arrives at the edge of Elderford High Street.
Meanwhile Pickle and Catweazle are really having a tussle over the sign. Pickle using a birch broom trying to hit Catweazle who is holding the sign in front of his face for protection. Pickle sneezes,
P " look mate, drop it will you, see look."
He puts down broom showing Catweazle he means him no harm.
P " but you're not having that sign."
Pickle sneezes yet again,
CW " thou has the nose itch of summer?" Give me the sign and I'll cure thee."
Catweazle takes out Adamcos his knife.
P ( alarmed) " hey put that knife away"
Catweazle waves knife, to and fro, in front of Pickle's face, slowly his eyes grew heavy and then close.
CW " nose ease thy sneeze, no itch as now, nose take thy ease, new nose are thou."
Pickle wakes,
CW " where does thy keep them?"
P " eh?"
CW " the magic signs"
P " oh the signs er...yes...don't tell anyone but I keep them in there."
CW " has thou all of them?"
P " yes"
CW " then thou can fly?"
P " oh yeah, like a bird"
CW " then fly for me".
P " I will in a minute, but wouldn't you like to see the signs first?"
Catweazle eagerly nods,
Pickle points to free standing cupboard and opens door, Catweazle peers in, and Pickle shoves him in and locks door.
At that moment Cedric runs in.

 

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Pickle is agitated and says to Cedric,
P " he's mad, he attacked me, I'm going to phone the police"
Pickle marches off, Cedric can hear Catweazle from inside cupboard, cursing away, he opens door.
CW" Owlface! He tricked me, he lied"
Cd " buzz off quickly"
CW " I am no bee"
Cd " I told you something like this would happen, he's going to phone for the police."
Cedric sees tricycle,
Cd " here use this"
Cedric gets on to demonstrate how to use it.
Cd " you hold these,( handlebars) and use these ( pedals)."

Catweazle gingerly gets on, he quickly gets the knack of it, and pedals towards door, scoops up pub sign puts it in wicker basket attached to tricycle and pedals off into street.
Pickle returns,
P " police will be here in a minute"
Cd " he's gone"
P " gone! Goodness me, he's mad, raving about magic and wanting me to fly. He even said he'd cure me of my hay-fever if I gave him an old inn sign"
Cd " perhaps it was just a joke?'
P " oh no, he's mad, even drew a knife on me"
Pickle sees flower stuck in Cedric's jumper, he gets handkerchief ready, but no sneeze comes.
P " that's funny, it's gone, my hay-fever."
Pickle takes flower and sniffs it ,
P " it's definitely gone. ( laughing) IT'S GONE ! He did it, the old fella, he must be a faith healer or something"
Pickle walks off,
Cd " where you going?"
P " to call the police, tell them it was a mistake, if he's cured my hay-fever he can have whatever he wants."

Catweazle on his tricycle is speeding down a country lane a smile on his face, he's enjoying the experience. He turns a bend, a car is coming towards him, he turns handlebar and closes his eyes and hopes for the best. The tricycle leaves road, down a steep embankment, Catweazle is flung off. Both he and the bike are at the bottom of the bank....on a railway line.
Standing Catweazle eyes his surroundings, and sees the entrance to a tunnel.
CW " the mighty cave."

He picks up tricycle, puts inn sign back into basket and walks into tunnel.
Five seconds later he runs out screaming, a train hurtles by.
Catweazle watches it go from trackside.
CW " twas the dragon, the runes did not lie"
He re- enters tunnel, and out the other side, and sees a single side track, overgrown with grass, leading off of main tracks.
He follows the track, now obviously disused, and ends up at a deserted and dilapidated station.

Catweazle climbs up onto platform
CW " an enchanted house"
He enters waiting room, now disused , full of junk, dust and cobwebs. He takes Touchwood his toad out of robe pocket.
CW " our journey is over Touchwood, this is our new home. Here we shall gather the signs of the zodiac, and make great magic."
The old disused station is Duck Halt.

Cast;
Catweazle....Geoffrey Bayldon
Cedric.....Gary Warren
Lord Collingford......Moray Watson
Groome......Peter Butterworth
Mrs Gowdy......Gwen Nelson
Mr Pickle......Bill Owen
Bill....Jerold Wells

Next episode;

Catweazle Episode 16 - THE HEAVENLY TWINS ( scene by scene)

New transcription of this episode click here, https://www.imdforums.com/threads/catweazle-s02-e03-the-heavenly-twins-new-transcription-scene-by-scene.6094/#post-69319

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