Catweazle Episode 14 - THE MAGIC RIDDLE ( SCENE BY SCENE-series 2 starts)

[michaellevenson]

ENGLAND 1066
Catweazle back in his own time has quickly fallen foul of the evil Normans. He is languishing in a dungeon of a castle. The Norman Baron who has imprisoned him walks down the stone steps to the dungeon accompanied by a guard. He opens a viewing port in the door to speak to Catweazle .

Baron " well sorcerer?"
Catweazle " nay, not well, I have the bone ache "
B" has thou success, my life depends on it"
The guard opens the door , the Baron enters ,Catweazle is on the floor, with him his toad Touchwood and pieces of lead. The Baron picks up a piece,
B (angry) " lead, still lead"
C " aye, nothing works"
Geoffrey Bayldon is Catweazle Moray Watson the Norman Baron

B " I have promised thee, turn this into gold and I will set you free"
C " but master I have tried and tried again "
B " thou art a magician?"
C " verily I am?"
B " with magic powers?"
C " aye mighty lord "
B " then use them, give me power "
C " what power master?"
B " the power of gold. I must have gold "
The angry Baron chucks lead away ,
B " thou will stay here until you make gold"
The Baron leaves, the door slammed shut.

 

[michaellevenson]

Catweazle sits dejectedly on the floor.
C " thy great Norman lump, I cannot make gold if I try to doomsday. ( to toad) What power has gold Touchwood, I seek the power to set us free. So we may fly from this castle and never...( smiles) fly..from this castle ."
Catweazle excited reaches for his magic book which is in the dungeon with him. Also on the floor is a circle he has drawn, a chalk circle, the circle is made up of crude diagrams representing the twelve zodiac signs.
C ( turning pages) " cursing, disappearing, aha here, flying. ( reading) The power to fly as the birds doth. Stand in thy zodiac ring and say"
Catweazle follows instructions from book and stands in chalk circle.
C " O spirits that rule the great circle of stars, grant me the power to fly, by the sign of the ram.."
Outside the guard walks down the stairs to the dungeon, as Catweazle finishes his spell,
C " by the sign of the centaur, the scorpion and the goat. ( continues reading out loud)..now thy has the power. Get thee to a high place, leap into the air and fly. If thou does not fly it is thy bad luck. What does that mean?"
Guard's voice" food"
Through the door portal the guard passes food to Catweazle.
C " does thy fear me hobface ?"
G " no!"
C " I can become invisible, thinner than air, tis true, I swear it. Wouldst thy like to see?"
Guard nods,
C " close this hatch, and count to ten and I shall vanish"
Guard closes hatch and counts, on his fingers, he ain't that bright!"
He then opens portal, Catweazle is gone. He gingerly enters dungeon , and doesn't see Catweazle standing on ledge over doorway.
Suddenly Catweazle leaps down, runs out and slams door shut.
C " aha...thy Norman fool"
Guard panicking " hey stop stop, help let me out "
The Baron and his men are alerted by the noise. Catweazle runs up steps, to top of castle, guards in pursuit. He reaches the top, outside on the parapet he stares down at the moat 40 feet below.
C " I think this is high enough "
The soldiers arrive, led by the Baron who draws his sword, ready to run Catweazle through.
C " Norman fools, does thou not not know that I can fly as doth a bird."
Catweazle leaps off parapet straight down into the moat.

 

[michaellevenson]

Catweazle emerges from under the water.
C " aaarrgghh, I have not flown then twas my bad luck."
He looks up ,The castle is gone, completely, just woods, no castle at all.
C " urgh..water...water.."
He clambers out of moat, then the realisation hits him.
C " Touchwood, again I have not flown, but time has"
Catweazle walks to some bushes that surround the moat and peers through.

A large house, a mansion is before him. Two stories high, but very long. This is the stately home of Lord and Lady Collingford, Kings Farthing. Beautiful manicured lawn surrounds the mansion. A gardener rides an electric mower, Catweazle gasps, it's the guard from 1066, another man nattily dressed in a tweed suit approaches the gardener, it's The Baron!! Catweazle realises these are descendants, 900 years after his time.
Lord Collingford waves to Groome the gardener who stops the lawn mower.
LC " Groom first party are arriving at 3.15, Americans, you better get changed "
G " yes m'Lord "
Moray Watson and Peter Butterworth are Lord Collingford and Groome.

 

[michaellevenson]

Lord Collingford and Groome enter the hallway of Kings Farthing.
G " long or short tour m' Lord?"
LC " that depends on how many there are Groome "
Catweazle enters hallway as Lord Collingford and Groome depart. Creeping as quiet as he can he notices a suit of armour on display, momentarily fearful until he raps chest with knuckle to hear hollow sound.

As you would expect the hall is beautifully furnished, a stately home indeed. There's a portrait on the wall looking remarkably like Lord Collingford, but in Victorian garb, another descendant, or ancestor to his Lordship. Suddenly a noise, a door opens, a woman enters the hall, a housekeeper perhaps. Catweazle ducks down behind the stairs, unfortunately his beloved Touchwood choosing an inopportune moment leaps out of Catweazle's pocket of his robe and hops onto the stairs and straight into a dustpan sitting on the bottom stair.
Before Catweazle can grab him, the housekeeper Mrs Gowdy picks up dustpan and ascends stairs. Catweazle slowly follows her up.

 

[michaellevenson]

Lady Collingford has been on the phone in the drawing room as Charles, Lord Collingford enters.
LC " customers?"
LyC " hope so Charles"
L " another season like last season and we'll be selling the place Dotty"
LyC " I'm sure it's going to go terribly well, you mustn't worry"
LC " I just wish I knew how to make money "
Elspeth Gray is Lady Collingford.

A coach load of American tourists have arrived and gathered in the hallway. Groome now in uniform addresses them.
G " good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. I should like to welcome you to Kings Farthing, home of Lord and Lady Collingford and home of the collection of military relics dating back to the Norman conquest "

Meanwhile Mrs Gowdy has arrived at a bedroom, she is at a cupboard full of blankets, sheets and other linen. The room is well furnished, she has just checked everything is okay for when the Collingford's son arrives shortly. Catweazle opens door gingerly, sees Mrs Gowdy and quickly ducks down beside bed. Touchwood is no longer in dustpan but has leapt out and on top of chest of drawers. Luckily Mrs Gowdy doesn't see, and she leaves, locking door behind her.
Catweazle grabs toad and goes to door, but can't get out.
C " Touchwood we are trapped thou pumped up wart!"

Meanwhile Groome is showing the tourists the portrait in the hallway.
G " Lord Alfred Collingford who rebuilt Kings Farthing in 1852 was something of an eccentric. It is said he found the old dungeons of Farthing Castle below the house where he dabbled in black magic "
A taxi arrives at the main entrance to the house, out steps young Cedric Collingford, 13 years old , home from boarding school.

In the drawing room Cedric greets his parents and plonks down his luggage which includes musical instrument.
LC " what have you got there Cedric?"
Cd " a cello "
LC " but you've already got a violin a piccolo and a French Horn "
Cd " yes, but I haven't got a cello "
LyC" had a good term dear?"
Cd " yes Mother "
LyC " hasn't he grown "
Mrs Gowdy enters,
MG " hello Cedric, nice to have you home"
Cd " hello Mrs Gowdy"
MG " hasn't he grown, want something to eat?"
Cd " can I go and unpack first"
Mrs Gowdy gives Cedric the key to his room.
MG " I always lock up now the season has started"
Cedric picks up suitcases and heads upstairs.
Gary Warren is Cedric, Gwen Nelson is Mrs Gowdy

 

[michaellevenson]

Cedric enters his bedroom, Catweazle hiding under the bed. Cedric puts cases down and heads straight to a wall, he grips a seemingly innocent looking decorative column, in plaster mould and twists it clockwise and a secret panel opens in the wall. Cedric disappears inside priest hole.
Catweazle slides out from under bed, goes up to column and twists it and follows into secret room. From there loads of stairs leading down into the darkness.
Catweazle gasps in a mixture of horror and curiosity, he recognizes the place. IT'S WHERE HE WAS LOCKED UP in 1066.
The stone steps, leading to the dungeon, cobwebs all over the place now. He comes to the dungeon door and slowly enters.

Cedric is kneeling down on the floor, surrounded by a chalk circle of zodiac signs, not Catweazle's circle of 1066, but a more recently drawn one. The same portrait of Lord Alfred in the hallway is here too, and on the wall strange symbols written in chalk.
Cedric spins round to see Catweazle, who falls to the floor begging.
C " mercy, harm me not"
Cd " who are you how did you get down here?"
C " Touchwood was lost"
Cd " touch who?"
C " Touchwood my familiar, has thou no familiar?"
Cd " no I don't think so. There's a way in from outside is there?"
C (noticing circle )" ah...tis the zodiac "
Cd " where is it, the way in I mean"
Catweazle notices the magic book Cedric is holding.
C " wondrous wondrous "
Cd " are you listening "
C " you are indeed a mighty magician "
Cd " what did you call me"
C " mighty magician "

Cd " no this is Lord Alfred's hideaway my great great grandfather "
Catweazle sees a mound of earth against the wall.
C " why does thou dig?"
Cd" it's a secret "
Catweazle notices writing on wall.
C " yes...yes.."
Cd " Lord Alfred must have done it, so you'd have to be a magician to read it "
C " it is the language known as Malachim. It says, twelve are they that circle round, if power you seek they must be found, look for where the thirteenth lies, mount aloft the one who flies"
Cd " who are you!?"
C " I am Catweazle, the riddle is simple Owlface, it is the flying spell "
Cd " flying spell?"
C " the twelve that circle round"
Cd " you mean the zodiac?"
C " aye, we must find each one, and then the thirteenth "
Cd " whatever is that?"
C " as yet I know not, then we shall fly"
Suddenly Catweazle is pained,
C " aaarrgghh "
Cd " what is it?"
C " my thumbs prick....danger. Thy father comes for thee "
Cd " how do you know ?"
C(points to forehead) " I see him with the eye of time. Get thee hence"
Cd " what about you"
C " GO...GO"
Cedric runs out , a bit reluctant, leaving this strange visitor alone in his secret hideaway.

 

[michaellevenson]

Lord Collingford brings the cello into the bedroom , Cedric got out of the priest hole just in time.
LC " teas ready"
Cd " I was just coming "
L " I've brought up the fiddle"
Cd " cello....thanks "
LC " everything sorted out?"
Cd " think so"
The two of them leave.

In the hallway, Groome and the tourist party,
G " that concludes the tour of the house, teas are on sale in the tearoom, turn left at the end of the corridor."
The tourists walk off, Cedric and Lord Collingford watch them go, Cedric points up to portrait of Lord Alfred.
Cd " do you think there are still any magicians today?"
LC " shouldn't think so"
Cd " he believed in magic didn't he?"
LC " Lord Alfred yes, apparently he tried to fly"
Cd " fly?"
LC " using magic spells of course, off the top of a cliff"
Cd " what happened?"
LC " I'm afraid gravity won"

Catweazle alone in Cedric's bedroom sees the washbasin and is fascinated by it. He turns taps on , water pours out , plug is in position and basin fills up. Next he picks up toothpaste tube, curiosity...what is this? He removes top and looks in awe as toothpaste squeezes out of top , and all over antique looking chair next to basin. Catweazle studies toothpaste,
C " a white worm"

He looks up, Touchwood is sitting on the basin tap croaking alarmingly, water is overflowing the basin and going all over the floor.
C " water I command thee to stop, salmy dalmy adonay "
A bemused Catweazle picks up Touchwood, backs away and opens priest hole and disappears inside.

 

[michaellevenson]

Cedric and parents are having tea,
LC " you've not written much this term "
Cd " I've written half an opera "
LyC " we meant to us darling "
Cd " no, sorry "
LC " music is alright for a hobby, but you don't want to get too wrapped up in it "
LyC " would be nice if you could find a friend who lived reasonably nearby "
Cedric sits and holds teacup , when a drop of water drips down into tea, then another, then another. They all notice, Cedric looks to ceiling as water is dripping down.
Cd " oh no, excuse me"
Cedric runs out,
LC ( sighs) " when does next term start?"

Up in bedroom Cedric runs in and turns taps off, he then sees secret panel ajar , he opens it to see Catweazle looking sheepish.
Cd " YOU BLITHERING IDIOT...I could kill you"
C " nay kill me not"
Cd " you ought to be locked up"
C" not again "
The door opens,Catweazle jumps back into secret entrance , as Lady Collingford enters and sees mess.
LyC " oh Cedric "
Cd " sorry mother I'll clean it up"
Catweazle comes out when Dotty leaves.
Cd " what d'you mean...not again?"
C " I come from the time of the Normans. They imprisoned me but I escaped "
Cd ( humouring) " did you"
C " tis my second journey here...see I know thy magic "
Catweazle goes over to the light switch,
C " tis electrickery..( switches on light) shine tiny sun..see...teach me thy magic and I will teach thee mine"
Cd " my magic?...Lord Alfred's room..don't you dare tell anyone "
C " did I not read you the flying spell?"
Cd " yes but this is the 20th century, if I want to fly I get on a plane "
C " nay not a plane, a mountain or high place, but first we must find the 13 signs"
Cd " listen, I'll be as potty as you in a minute, you go and find the thirteen signs and when you've got them come back and show me how well you can fly"
C " thy will not help me?"
Cd " I don't know, now come on....and be quiet "

 

[michaellevenson]

Cedric and Catweazle quietly descend stairs to hallway, Catweazle notices on the wall near the bend on the stairs an ornamental skull of a ram on display. Catweazle leans across bannister trying to reach it,
Cd " Catweazle..no.."
Catweazle tumbles head over heels over bannister and crashes into hatstand and ends up in a heap on the floor much to Cedric's amusement.
Cd " serves you right"
Footsteps are heard, Lord and Lady Collingford run in, no sign of Catweazle, only Cedric looking guilty.
LC " what an earth's happened?"
Cd " I sort of fell"
LyC " are you alright darling?"
LC " you've wrecked this hatstand, fooling about I suppose "
LyC " never mind it wasn't very pretty"
LC " you really are doing very well for your first day home"
LyC " Charles! He could have been hurt"
LC " my father bought that stand"
LyC " now come along, let's all go outside for a nice game of croquet. You can take us on Charles "
LC ( smiling) " okay dear, come on Cedric, put that ram's head down, let's join your mother "
They all leave, and Catweazle emerges from the tall grandfather clock where Cedric hid him.

C " I thank thee Owlface "
Catweazle picks up ram's head and runs out of Kings Farthing.
Cedric quickly comes back,
Cd ( opens clock panel) " Catweazle?"
He then sees his strange new friend running across lawn towards woods. He gives a little shake of his head and smiles and rejoins parents out back playing croquet.
Catweazle reaches woods, takes Touchwood out of his pocket and shows him ram's head ornament.
C " see Touchwood, the great quest has begun, the sign of the ram, we must find them all , then we shall fly."
the end

Next episode;

Catweazle Episode 15- DUCK HALT ( SYNOPSIS)

Catweazle's second adventure into the 1970's started with meeting and befriending Cedric Collingford, son of Lord and Lady Collingford of Kings Farthing, ancestral home of the family. In the cellar Cedric meets Catweazle who deciphers the writing done by Cedric's great grandfather. The flying...

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