Catweazle Episode 11- THE FLYING BROOMSTICKS ( SCENE BY SCENE)

[michaellevenson]

Catweazle has been foraging in the woods, for birch brooms , the ones depicted as used by witches ie besoms. He has three of them and arriving back at Castle Saburac, the water tower he lives in, climbs the ladder carrying brooms.
(Castle Saburac)

Meanwhile near Hexwood Farm George Bennett and son Edward aka Carrot are waiting at roadside with the tractor, George calls out,
G " Sam, coming "
S " won't be a minute boss "
Farmhand Sam is in a clearing putting out a fire they lit to burn farm waste, he is holding a birch broom. Carelessly Sam not being watchful lets the end of the broom catch fire
he stamps on it to put it out, then joins the others.
S " broom caught fire"
Carrot " how did that happen?"
S " don't know, spark must have set it off"
G " fire out Sam?"
S " is now"
The tractor moves off , Sam driving, Carrot sitting next to Sam, George stays behind to close the gate to enclosure. A police car pulls up, the sergeant at the wheel winds down window.
Sgt " Hexwood Farm?"
G " yes that's right "
Sgt " you might be able to help me mate, I'm looking for the owner "
G " yes"
Sgt " where can I find him "
G " here, I'm the owner "
Sgt " I do beg your pardon sir"
G " my name is George Bennett "
Sgt " sorry sir I didn't realise"
G " can I help you sergeant "
Sgt (getting out of car) " perhaps you can sir, that's something I hope to ascertain shortly sir"
Sgt Bottle notices burnt broomstick propped up along fence, the one Sam burnt.
SB " they've struck again. Look at that sir, examine it, notice anything peculiar about it?"
G " er..well it's been burnt"
SB " exactly sir, burnt, and very recently"
Bud Tingwell is George Bennett and John Junkin is Sgt Bottle.

 

[michaellevenson]

In the water tank that is home Catweazle is puzzled.
C " why does the spell not carry me away Touchwood. We must try again with five broomsticks "
Touchwood the toad hiccups.
C " ah... has thou the hiccups dear heart. I will cure thee . Hiccup Shniccup, rise up, rise right up. That will cure thy hiccup "
Touchwood hiccups again.
C (annoyed)" thy must drink from other side of thy dish"
Geoffrey Bayldon is Catweazle.

Carrot and Sam are in an outhouse at the farm sorting out apples, putting them in pallets ready to be sold to local outlets.
Carrot looking out of window sees Sgt Bottle pull up in his police car, his father with him.
Ct " look Sam"
S " oh blimey , I bet he's looking for me "
Ct " what for?"
S " old sgt Cordon would have just reminded me, but I don't know about this new bloke "
Ct " what d' you mean?"
S " my car, the licence has run out, I saw him looking at it outside the market this morning "
Ct " d'you think you'll get summoned "
S " I expect so"
Robin Davies is Carrot, Neil McCarthy is Sam.

 

[michaellevenson]

In the barn Sgt Bottle and George are talking.
SB " not the sort of case I'm used to coming from the metropolis. However I'm gradually piecing it all together "
G " go on"
SB " it was last week they started to go, I had only been here three days"
G " what started to go?"
SB " brooms"
G " brooms?"
SB " yes Mr Bennett sir, birch brooms or besoms , 18 from the forestry, 4 or 5 from private homes and 10 from Mr Randy Lee's caravan, he makes them you know "
G " surely sergeant it's some kind of hoax isn't it?"
SB " ah yes Mr Bennett that's what I thought at first, a hoax. But we recovered 4 of them today and they were all burnt, and all tied together"
G " well yes, that is a bit odd I must admit "
SB " it's more than odd it's sinister "
G " oh ?"
SB " you see Mr Bennett underneath, underneath, these country people are still very primitive "
G ( stiffly)" are they indeed!"
SB " oh yes, the veneer is quite thin"
G " what's this got to do with ...."
SB " superstitions die hard, old beliefs linger "
G " old beliefs?"
SB " pagan rights "

In the outhouse,
Ct " don't worry Sam, he's probably come about something else"
S " you think so"
Ct " may have"
S " no I reckon he's after me"
Ct " you've got a guilty conscience "
Back with Bottle and George,
SB " who owns that car outside "
G " Sam, he works for me"
SB " the man who burnt that broom?"
G " that's right "
SB " then the net is tightening"
G " what d'you mean?"
SB " that car was found where we found the other burnt brooms"

 

[michaellevenson]

In the outhouse,
Ct " hey, he's gone"
S " good job too"
Ct " here comes dad"
George enters,
G " er.... how's it going in here Sam"
S " okay boss"
Ct " dad, what did the policeman want?"
G " well, it's a little difficult to explain....er Carrot would you take the empty crates to the barn"
Ct " yes dad"
Carrot leaves carrying crates, George turns to Sam as soon as Carrot is out of earshot.
G " actually he wanted a word with you Sam"
S " yeah I knew it"
G " what?!"
S " bound to catch me in the end"
G " you mean you admit it!?"
S " not much point in denying it "
G " I don't know what to say, I didn't think that sort of thing went on anymore, at least not round here"
S " there's thousands that they don't catch"
G " yes but Sam, I can't imagine you, you seem so down to earth"
S " don't worry Mr Bennett they won't shoot me"
G " well he wants to see you at the station. You better leave the apples, and run along now"
S " thanks boss "
Sam leaves, and Carrot returns to see his father glum looking, head in hands.
Ct " dad what's up?"
G " Sam is in trouble, serious trouble, and he doesn't seem to realise it"
Ct " about the car?"
G " no I wish it was , you see a lot of brooms have been stolen and burnt, and apparently Sgt Bottle has got the idea it's to do with witchcraft "
Alarm bells ring for Carrot.
Ct " witchcraft !.....oh crumbs."
Carrot dashes out.
G ( shouting)" Carrot...don't be a fool...come back"

 

[michaellevenson]

Catweazle is in the woods next to his water tower home, Castle Saburac. He has lit a fire.

C " come spirits raise me up, come hither glamour chops, harken to me demi gorgon "
He is grumpy, the gods will not make him fly, his ultimate dream.
C " disobedient devils may a plague rot thee, why will they not obey me. And I am fast running out of broomsticks. Well now I will try five."
Carrot turns up on his bike and stays hidden behind tree and watches Catweazle going through this absurd ritual.
Catweazle has 5 brooms tied together , he dips them into fire, lighting the ends of all 5, then says as he straddles them,
C " five brooms I ride thee, five fold power thy spirits guide me. Leap through the fire, take me away. Salmy Dalmy Adonay "
Catweazle leaps over fire, brooms between his legs and ends up face down in the mud"
Ct( smiles) " what do you think you're trying to do"
C ( angry) " keep away thy lump, thy itch, NOTHING WORKS!!"
Ct " you're a menace Catweazle an absolute menace. You're to blame aren't you, it's your fault Sam's in trouble, this proves it"

 

[michaellevenson]

Sam arrives at the small village police station, one officer on desk duty.
Ch " hello Sam"
S " hi Charlie, how's your mother?"
Ch " much better, she'll be out next week"
S " what's this new sergeant like?"
Ch " you'll find out ,(points) in there "
Sam knocks on door of interview room and enters.
John Tordoff is Charlie Cooper

Sgt Bottle is sat behind desk.
SB " sit down "
Sam nervously sits at desk.
SB " Mr Woodyard isn't it?"
S " yeah that's right"
SB " (points to broom propped up at desk) is this yours"
S " erm.. don't know, could be....do you want to see my licence?"
SB " that's enough impertinence from you. Could you identify it positively "
S " what d'you mean, they all look alike don't they"
SB " in more ways than one "
Sam notices a load of brooms stacked against the wall.
S " are you collecting them?"
SB " have you lit the beltane fire?"
S " (puzzled) " the which fire!?"
SB " oh you admit it then?"
S " eh?"
SB " lighting the witch fire. Are you responsible for burning this broom ?"
S " no crime in that is there "
SB " not anymore alas, you're very lucky to be living nowadays Woodyard instead of 400 years ago"
S " WHAT!!?"
SB " how many of you are doing this"
S " doing what?"
SB " holding sabbats in the woods"
S " holding what !?"
SB " sabbats , sabbats, I've done my homework you know "

 

[michaellevenson]

In Castle Saburac Carrot is not happy with Catweazle.
Ct " you took those brooms didn't you, why d'you want so many "
C " to jump through the time fire"
Ct " you're potty, it can't work"
C " it shall, it must"
Ct " no not even if you had a 100 broomsticks "
C " can thy find 100 for me"
Ct " NO, What about Sam?"
C " Sam, Sam, sing a different song thy magpie "
Ct " okay I'll tell them it was you, I'll give you away. "
Catweazle has a witch knife around his neck called Adamcos, that he got Carrot to swear on soon after they first met, to pledge loyalty.
C " no you won't you are my brother in magic, you have sworn on Adamcos "
Ct " okay why don't you help me"
Catweazle reaches for a banana to peel, Carrot grabs it and picks up a whole bunch.
Ct " okay if you won't help, no more bananas or corned beef. In fact no more food at all"
Catweazle picks up bow he's made.
C " I will not starve"
Ct " you couldn't even hit our barn with that "
C " nay, my aim is true"
Catweazle points and Carrot sees hanging up skins of dead rabbits that Catweazle has caught.

The phone rings at the police station front desk, Charlie picks it up
Ch " police station "
G " George Bennett here, Hexwood farm, I'm ringing up about Mr Woodyard, is he still with you?"
Ch " yes he is Mr Bennett "
G " he's been there 2 hours, it's ridiculous, I've known the man for years"
Ch " there's nothing I can do about it sir, he's still being interviewed "
G " can I speak to sergeant Bottle?"
Ch " I'm afraid not Mr Bennett I've been told not to disturb him"
G " very well I'm coming down to sort this out, it's gone beyond a joke "

 

[michaellevenson]

Back at Castle Saburac,
Catweazle throws his magic book away angrily.
C " Rapkyn has deceived me"
Ct " so how about it ?"
C " drip drip drip, you will wear me away"
Ct " well will you help me "
C " nay"
Carrot thinks for a moment and then takes a harmonica out of his pocket and plays instrument. Catweazle looks at awe as he hears Carrot playing tune.
Catweazle goes to grab it, Carrot pulls it away,
Ct " well..?"
C( kneels) " master what must I do ?"

Sam still being interviewed by Bottle.
S " I don't know anything about witchcraft, and I didn't take those brooms . I thought you wanted to see me about my car insurance "
SB " you must think I'm stupid or something. You're staying here until I get to the bottom of this , I'm not having this going on in Westbourne "
S " they're ain't nothing going on"
SB " how many in the coven"
S " how many what in the oven"
SB " COVEN COVEN!! That's what you call it isn't it. 13 isn't it. I shudder to think what abominable practices you people are getting up to"
S (angry)." NOW LOOK HERE!"
SB " I only hope I've uncovered it in time"

In Castle Saburac Catweazle has got his bow and hands arrow to Carrot who ties a letter he has written to arrow with elastic band.
Ct " ready?"
C " aye my brother "
Ct " let's hope we don't get caught "
C " guard well Touchwood "
They both leave, climbing up ladder and out of water tank.
Meanwhile Sgt Bottle takes out a notebook and pencil.
SB " now Mr Woodyard where were you on the night of Friday the 13th?"
S " in bed I should think "
SB ( writing) " in bed I should think "

 

[michaellevenson]

Carrot and Catweazle are in churchyard opposite police station.
Ct " through that open window "
C " right my brother"
Catweazle aims the arrow carefully and fires..... and misses....the arrow smashing glass as it goes through a closed window.

Charlie Cooper jumps in surprise as arrow thuds into desk. He pulls it out and removes note attached to it. Sgt Bottle runs out of interview room.
SB " what's happening "
Ch " look sir"
Bottle grabs note and reads it aloud.
SB " Sam is innocent set him free, in the churchyard there I'll be. Signed touchwood, they're coming out into the open at last "
Ch " who are sir?"
SB " keep watch here, we've got 'em rattled Cooper, we've got them rattled!"

 

[michaellevenson]

Carrot and Catweazle await in churchyard,
Ct " suppose he doesn't come, suppose it doesn't work "
C " thy flap eared rabbit, I will not fail thee"
Sgt Bottle walks into churchyard ,
Ct " he's coming, give it all you've got"
Bottle and Catweazle meet face to face.
SB " I have reason to believe I've just received a communication from you on an arrow"
C " 'tis true"
SB " I must warn you that if you are connected to the disappearance of approximately 30 brooms I must ask you to accompany me to the station "
C " thy belted pudding!"
SB " pardon"
C " learn the mysteries"
SB " here, what are you looking at me like that for"
Catweazle points two fingers at Bottle and says words in Latin. Bottle falls asleep.
C " now wake, go follow what I have said"
Bottle wakes up and walks back to police station.

 

[michaellevenson]

Charlie has entered the interview room and chatting with Sam.
S " how long is this going on for Charlie "
Ch " don't ask me"
S " where's he gone"
Ch " churchyard "
S " is he always like this"
Ch " what d'you mean, he's only been here for a few days"
S " been here too long if you ask me, fellow is round the bend"
The desk bell rings, Charlie goes to desk to see George Bennett.
Ch " hello Mr Bennett "
G " is Woodyard still here?"
Ch " I'm afraid he is sir"
G " this is ridiculous, what does your sergeant think he's playing at"
Sgt Bottle comes back in, a silly grin on his face, he opens interview room door.
SB " you can go Mr Woodyard, you can go"
Sam leaves and sees George,
S " hello boss"
G " Sergeant Bottle....a word please "
SB (grinning) " time gentleman please"
G " what?"

Sgt.Bottle starts singing and doing a little dance shuffle backwards into his office.
SB (singing) "if you want to know the time ask a policeman , the proper city time, ask a policeman"
Bottle retreats into interview room and closes door.
G " I think he's ill"
Suddenly a crashing noise is heard from inside room. The door is opened and everyone looks astonished as Bottle is standing on chair with a broom between his legs. What an earth did Catweazle do to him.

At Castle Saburac,
Ct " no more brooms promise Catweazle "
C " I swear it, it is not the way, I am done with Rapkyn. He tried to fool me with false magic, but I will find a way"
Ct " what d'you mean"
C " I will get back to my own time, even if it takes to doomsday"
Ct " you never give up do you? Anyway here's a present for you"
Carrot hands him the harmonica, which Catweazle puts up to his mouth ,and at first sucks it.
Ct " no no, you blow into it "
Catweazle blows, and a tuneless racket is heard, enough for Touchwood the toad to immediately retreat into the wellington boot that is its home!!
The End

Next episode:

Catweazle Episode 12- THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON ( SCENE BY SCENE)

Catweazle is alone in the woods picking berries, he stops, a sad look on his face. C " 9 days Touchwood and still the young sorcerer comes not, I choke in this unknown world. A fish out of water Touchwood (looking)...Touchwood...Touchwood where art thou?" Geoffrey Bayldon is Catweazle...

www.imdforums.com