Recently Seen, Part 31 (September 2019)

[divemaster13]

Why Don't You Play in Hell? (2013)

Well, well, well. Another Sion Sono film that showed up in my mailbox from Netflix. How about that. For the first hour, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be gaining from this movie-watching experience. The plot was rather disjointed, popping between a renegade film crew of losers and 2 rival Yakuza gangs that I couldn't quite figure out what their beefs with each other were. And a little girl singing a toothpaste commercial.

I was mildly entertained. It was obvious the film was not to be taken too seriously. I'd categorize the first hour as "slightly whimsical." Unfortunately, "slightly whimsical" is not really in my genre/tone wheelhouse.

But then, about an hour in (right when the "pretend boyfriend" gets kidnapped to direct a Yakuza raid home movie)...it hit me. Farce! The movie just went all-in Farce, and I really started liking it. Farce is very difficult to do well, but Why Don't You Play in Hell?'s last half is a very enjoyable farce. I was all smiles and even laughed out loud a few times.

Very obvious homage to Kill Bill (even the music is almost a carbon copy of the "House of Blue Leaves" fight between Beatrice Kiddo and O-ren Ishii). Obvious homage to the Zatoichi films, with the style of samurai sword fights. Stylistic homages to HK action (slo-mo and double guns). The renegade filmmaking hints at Bowfinger. I'm not sure that Sono intended it, but I even got a Peter Jackson (Dead Alive) vibe, if you remember the carnage with the lawnmower. The Bruce Lee wannabe was very good. And hilarious. And the toothpaste girl! As a little girl, she's as cute as the dickens, and as a grown-up? I'll call her "short-shorts samurai." Miss SSS might be the most flirtatiously sexy/hot/cute Japanese actress I've ever seen. She's...amazing.

4 stars.

 

[sitenoise]

Miss SSS might be the most flirtatiously sexy/hot/cute Japanese actress I've ever seen. She's...amazing

Fumi Nikaido ! @plsletitrain talks about her a lot. I think she's one of her favorite actresses. Me, I take a more measured approach. Fumi started out way awesome but as she's matured past a teenager (almost 40 films in ten years, and she's only 24) she's made some bad choices. If you can stand any more Sono, I think we all had our first crush on Fumi in Sono's Himizu - before she was legal to do much of anything, like drive a car and whatnot

It's a blast reading your reviews of Sono. As someone who hasn't drank the Kool-Ade, you're a great barometer of what 'normal' people might think of his various films.

https://letterboxd.com/film/himizu/

 

[divemaster13]

It's a blast reading your reviews of Sono. As someone who hasn't drank the Kool-Ade, you're a great barometer of what 'normal' people might think of his various films.

I'm glad you enjoy my reviews/thoughts. As far as Sono goes, I may be at the end of the road for a while. I've seen everything offered on my Netflix plan, and, unlike Korean movies, I don't have a lot of enthusiasm for purchasing Japanese blind buys from YesAsia.

I'm open to suggestions. And, yes, that includes watching from a dodgy website as long as I'm getting the real movie, not some rough cut or dark theater phone-filmed bootleg with subtitles added by some Japanese fanboy loser.

So now that I've poisoned the well, what Sono film should I seek out next and how to watch it?

 

[sitenoise]

what Sono film should I seek out next and how to watch it?

I think I've been keeping track but you should post a list of the ones you've seen.

I'm surprised Himizu and Cold Fish aren't on Netflix. Himizu, remember, is the flick that launched Fumi Nakaido's career. I can't believe how stoopid it is that you can't search Netflix without signing in, but whatever.

Cold Fish was too mean for me but others like it. Cold Fish and Guilty of Romance are (I just learned from Wikipedia) part of Sono's Hate Trilogy with Love Exposure--if that means anything. I wouldn't really urge you to watch either one, but I liked Guilty.

I would urge you to watch Be Sure to Share, though, if only to see Sono make a "normal" movie. It's about his daddy issues.

So ... Himizu and Be Sure to Share might be all you have left.

I hate this new editor that stylizes my text for no apparent reason. And when I select a word to Italicize, it decides to also italicize the entire next paragraph as well

 

[plsletitrain]

Fumi Nikaido ! @plsletitrain talks about her a lot. I think she's one of her favorite actresses.

Uhm, I don't think I remember talking about her a lot except by taking notice because it was YOU who can't stop talking about her!

I haven't started watching Fumi Noriko's Dinner Table yet. Sigh.

 

[divemaster13]

I'm surprised Himizu and Cold Fish aren't on Netflix. ... I think I've been keeping track but you should post a list of the ones you've seen.

I've actually seen Cold Fish (via Netflix). According to my notes, I watched it in April 2014. I have vague recollection of it; certain scenes here and there. I remember appreciating it and rated it 3.5. I've been meaning to re-watch it.

All of Sono's other films I've seen this year. A comprehensive summary:

Noriko's Dinner Table: 2.5 (really closer to 2.0, I think)
Cold Fish: 3.5
Suicide Club: 3.5
Strange Circus: 4
Why Don't You Play in Hell?: 4
Love Exposure: 4 (could be closer to 4.5)

 

[divemaster13]

Ok; I bit the bullet (reasonable price on eBay):

Sold by cinegeekdvds ( 2673 )Order number: 11-03847-79817Processed by PayPal

+ Show additional actions​

Estimated delivery Wednesday, Sep 11, 2019 - Friday, Sep 13, 2019

Himizu (DVD, 2014)

Item price	$12.49
Quantity	1
Item number	322975232784
Shipping service	USPS First Class Package

 

[sitenoise]

View attachment 16898Uhm, I don't think I remember talking about her a lot except by taking notice because it was YOU who can't stop talking about her!

I was just baiting you to come join us

 

[sitenoise]

I've actually seen Cold Fish (via Netflix). According to my notes, I watched it in April 2014. I have vague recollection of it; certain scenes here and there. I remember appreciating it and rated it 3.5. I've been meaning to re-watch it.

All of Sono's other films I've seen this year. A comprehensive summary:

Noriko's Dinner Table: 2.5 (really closer to 2.0, I think)
Cold Fish: 3.5
Suicide Club: 3.5
Strange Circus: 4
Why Don't You Play in Hell?: 4
Love Exposure: 4 (could be closer to 4.5)

That's about it. Besides Be Sure to Share, which you should look at if it shows up on Netflix--don't pay for it, the only other Sono I have at 4 or above is Tag. You wouldn't like it. It's a solid three times re-watched 5/5 for me, for the soundtrack and the running. I love running. I love people running almost as much as people staring pensively out a window of the moving vehicle.

OMG. I'm watching it again

 

[plsletitrain]

I was just baiting you to come join us

Oh gad I'm such an easy gurrrllll... be back soon. Just finished a series and I'm in the mood for nitpicking/complaining.

 

[plsletitrain]

I've lost count as to how many times sitenoise has seen Tag.

 

[divemaster13]

Oh no.

You received a refund, divemaster13!​

​

Your order was canceled​

Hi David,​

The seller canceled this order due to the following reason: I'm out of stock or the item is damaged.​ They sent a refund to your original payment method.​

I was able to order this DVD movie from another vendor. However,

Ex-Library rental. Disc(s) are professionally cleaned and free of scratches. Disc(s), case, and artwork may contain library/security stickers and ink writing. ARTWORK MAY BE UNORIGINAL AND PRINTED BY LIBRARY. Case and artwork may show some wear.

 

[sitenoise]

I was able to order this DVD movie from another vendor. However,

I would have taken the original cancelled order that you were not meant to watch it, or at least not meant to invest in it. I hope you end up liking it --at least a little

 

[divemaster13]

My Friend & His Wife (2007)

I'll be going through my "Korean not yet watched" DVDs this month. Tried My Friend & His Wife, which mas made by the same guy that directed Host & Guest. Maybe I'll call him the ampersand director.

Well, I didn't much like it. About the same reaction as I gave Host & Guest ("Grouchy out-of-work film professor and introverted Jehovah's Witness strike up a strange but fairly boring friendship.")

The first 45 minutes or so were ok. Setting up the relationships. Young married couple barely making ends meet and the on-the-rise stockbroker friend of the husband. The young couple has plans to emigrate to the U.S. to better succeed in their respective skill areas (cook and salon worker). But their plans fall through. It seems like the rich friend will assist, but it was never clear how he did. In any event, they didn't go to America. Note how I said "it was never clear." I can say that about of lot of the plot details.

So then a tragedy strikes. After this occurrence, none of the characters' actions or motivations made a lick of sense to me. From scene to scene, everything seemed so arbitrary. Is this character mad? Jealous? Fearful? And how come the next time we see him/her, the emotions are completely different for no apparent reason? And so many scenes just have characters stating at some fixed point in space. Not answering questions put to them. The director cuts away and then presents some other arbitrary action/reaction in the next scene.

The last 10 minutes could have been the topper (in a good way) if the film was presented as a revenge thriller. Or a twist. But the movie is just a meandering confusing relationship drama until the end which tries to be something else. But the director didn't have the courage to go whole hog and really trip your mind. Nope. So the ending comes off as nonsensical and arbitrary. If it had been interesting up to that point, I can forgive a mis-step at the climax, but this movie was just a series of missteps.

2 stars (mainly due to the actors/actress obviously trying hard with the limited direction they were given).

 

[BuX]

So now that I've poisoned the well, what Sono film should I seek out next and how to watch it?

I really liked his film Love and Peace. Another one of his films not mentioned is The Land of Hope, based on Fukushima Nuclear Incident and the Tsunami. Its quite powerful considering as it features the real destruction of houses from the earthquake and tsunami.

 

[sitenoise]

2 stars

That’s what I rated it. I don’t have any notes though. When a film gets a 2 from me I’m done with it. I think the only time I’d write about it would be if I was picking a fight with someone who gave it a 5. I admire your ability to memorialize why a film failed for you. They’re often your more amusing reviews. Because you’re pretty fair about it. I can hardly do more than vomit a few expletives:)

 

[divemaster13]

Jungle Juice (2002).

Stars the main guy from Please Teach Me English (also in Volcano High) and some other guy. And a round-eyed girl who plays a goofy hooker and goes by the name of "Meg Ryan" except she keeps getting called "Meg Lion" b/c of the Korean difficulty with "Rs."

Yep, it's that type of movie.

The basic plot revolves around two completely inept street thugs. They feel they would be better off in a gang, so they try to join the local gangster "family" (which is also pretty inept.) There's some confrontation with another gang where $20,000 goes missing (drug sale gone bad), and then another confrontation with the cops (who are also pretty inept) where a bag of cocaine goes missing. Our two goofballs are on the hook for the money and somehow ended up with the cocaine. So they try to fence it in Pusan with the help of Meg Lion's "girlfriend partners in crime" who do nothing but try to rip them all off.

As an action/comedy, it's not too bad. The first 20 minutes are pretty stupid, and after they all get to Pusan, it all pretty much falls apart plot-wise (and ability to suspend disbelief-wise).

I had two laugh-out-loud moments and a third good chuckle when the 2 goofballs get buzzed up on pills and decide to steal an ATM. One of the laugh-out-loud lines was when the local cops were fitting the goofballs up with wires and sending them in to the gangster hideout to record information.

"But they'll find out and kill us!"

"We're kindof counting on that, so then we can book them for murder as well."

Ha ha ha!

If the last 30 minutes held together, I'd bump it up to 3 stars. But no. It's not a great (or even "good") movie, really, but I don't have any regrets watching it. The infinitely better No Blood, No Tears came out the same year, so if you have the choice for an action/gangster/comedy, definitely go with that. But Jungle Juice has inspired me to try "windmill style" one of these days. LOL.

2.5 stars

 

[ebossert]

Highly Recommended

Sorcerer (1977) (American Thriller) – Four unfortunate men from different parts of the globe agree to risk their lives transporting gallons of nitroglycerin across dangerous South American jungle. Directed by William Friedkin, this movie does not mess around and wastes no time as it provides some action-filled vignettes to introduce these separate characters before they end up in the same South American village. In fact, the backdrop of the story is rooted in terrorism and revolutionary violence. The second half is concerned with the treacherous truck driving. The bridge crossing is fantastic! The fallen tree scene is good too. Very solid production values. This movie is intense and grimy.

When A Stranger Calls (1979) (American Horror/Thriller) – A psychopathic killer terrorizes a babysitter. This is a quality film with solid performances. The opening half hour is unnerving and suspenseful, and it’s difficult to predict where the film will go from there. In fact, it transcends the horror genre and morphs into a gritty urban psychological thriller. I like how this movie creates a sense of fear, even when the cops are not far away. Very creepy and well-made film.

When A Stranger Calls Back (1993) (American Horror) – A young babysitter, all alone in the house with two children asleep above, is bothered by a stranger. Unfortunately, the phone's dead. This sequel reunites stars Carol Kane and Charles Durning (reprising their roles as Jill Johnson and John Clifford, respectively) with director Fred Walton from the original film. The lengthy opening is similar but plays out in an entirely different way, which is nicely effective and creepy. The idea that someone might break into your house and make tiny changes that only you would notice is freaky stuff. It’s deliberately paced, but there’s a stifling suspense and paranoia from beginning to end. The finale is a classic. Unlike the original film, this is a horror film from start to finish, and a good one at that! Side note: the girl has one of the worst haircuts in motion picture history.

Recommended

Shadow of a Doubt (1943) (American Drama/Thriller) – A young woman discovers her visiting uncle may not be the man he seems to be. This film by Alfred Hitchcock is anchored with strong performances by Teresa Wright and Joseph Cotton. A few of the forensic/investigative elements are a bit off, but everything else is solid. The cat-and-mouse game between the leads is compelling. As an added bonus, the little daughter is funny.

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956) (American Drama/Thriller) – An American physician and his wife take matters into their own hands after assassins planning to execute a foreign Prime Minister kidnap their son. This is another good one from Alfred Hitchcock. The plot has been done a million times in cinematic history, but the execution here is very good. There are a few scenes that feel abrupt, but this is entertaining stuff for sure.

The Big Call (2017) (Chinese Crime Thriller) – A young police constable helps task force and and a female undercover to capture phone fraud criminal group. This is very detailed in showing scam phone calls and how they work. There’s also quite a bit of suspense. The editing is slightly too frenetic for my liking, but I got used to it after a while. Kwai Lunmei plays a convincing bad girl, and she gets a lot of screentime. This is Oxide Pang’s most entertaining film in years. It’s quite fun and nicely paced.

Flatliners (1990) (American Horror) – Five medical students experiment with "near death" experiences, until the dark consequences of past tragedies begin to jeopardize their lives. The character development is shallow, and the connections between their fears and the horrific events are very surface-level. The ending just kinda ends, with no true resolution to most of the characters’ nightmares. The set pieces are a mixed bag, with a few contributing effective tension while others are forgettable. Fortunately, the star-studded cast give good performances and the lighting is colorful, atmospheric and stylish.

King Kong (1933) (American Drama) (repeat viewing) – A film crew goes to a tropical island for an exotic location shoot and discovers a colossal ape who takes a shine to their female blonde star. There is some hilarious dialogue regarding women. Some pretty good death sequences too. The Kong vs Dinosaur fight is solid. I like the way Kong is presented in this film when he interacts with the female lead; he’s more like an animal instead of a lovey dovey teddy bear (like in later installments). On the other hand, the lack of connection between the beast and the girl makes the finale unemotional.

Christine (1983) (American Horror/Drama) – A nerdish boy named Arnie buys a strange car with an evil mind of its own and his nature starts to change to reflect it. This John Carpenter film is very slow-paced and takes a while to get going, but it does establish the stifling and controlling treatment of Arnie by his parents. The female lead is not well developed and her relationships with the two male leads feel rushed. There are a few cool horror sequences during the latter half, involving the car. The violence is inflicted against both likeable and unlikeable characters.

King Kong (1976) (American Drama) (repeat viewing) – A petroleum exploration expedition comes to an isolated island and encounters a colossal giant gorilla. This version has a good cast – Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange, Charles Grodin, and Ed Lauter. Jessica Lange is insanely hot in this one, and it’s understandable that the beast gets “googly eyes” when he spends time with her. The connection between the beast and the girl is more developed here than in the original, even if it is a bit pervy. Special effects are dodgy and at times do not hold up well. The practical effects are like a Japanese kaiju film (man in a suit), which a lot of people hate, but the suit looked good and I could suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy it. This is 34-minutes longer than the original film, but it’s not nearly as bad as the critics would have you believe. I like it.

Dead End Drive-In (1986) (Australian Drama/Action) – In the near future, a teenage couple are trapped in a drive-in theater which has become a concentration camp for social outcasts. The inmates are treated to drugs, exploitation films, junk food, and new wave music. This has a very odd premise that uses government restrictions to strand its characters out in the middle of nowhere. The drive-in is in the middle of a dusty desert locale. Some of the characters actually like being stranded there, because they have nothing of value on the outside. There is some social commentary (albeit heavy-handed) and also a few good suspense scenes later on. The action finale is good too.

The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953) (American Drama/Action) – A ferocious dinosaur awakened by an Arctic atomic test terrorizes the North Atlantic and, ultimately, New York City. A few of the filmmakers consider “Gojira” to be a rip-off of this film, but I find this one to be pretty dry viewing for much of its runtime. Most of the Japanese kaiju films I’ve seen are more entertaining than this (even the goofy ones). Sure, there are a few monster attacks, but the film barely earns a pass grade.

Continued in Part 2 . . .

 

[ebossert]

Not Recommended

Last Knights (2015) (British Drama/Action) – A fallen warrior (Clive Owen) rises against a corrupt and sadistic ruler to avenge his dishonored master (Morgan Freeman). This English language film was directed by Kazuaki Kiriya (Casshern, Goemon) and the story is based on the 47 Ronin. This is very dry, glacially paced stuff for the most part, and the action during the finale is merely decent. The acting is good, but this movie brings nothing new to a story that has already been told a million times already.

Flatliners (2017) (American Horror) – This is a remake of the film from 1990. Some of these characters are totally incompetent, which makes everything seem stupid. Think about it, why would someone rely on people to bring them back to life when they need to research it on Google!? The afterlife imagery is generic stuff and even less impactful than the original film. It feels like a generic ghost film more than anything else. Lighting is also not as atmospheric as the original film. This is barely a horror film for much of its runtime, actually. This is boring. Like the original film, it just ends. Nina Dobrev is really hot though.

Night of the Comet (1984) (American Horror) – A comet wipes out most of life on Earth, leaving two Valley Girls fighting against cannibal zombies and a sinister group of scientists. I’ve never understood why this film gets good ratings. It’s really boring stuff, with tons of dull-as-dirt filler material to sit thru. The story sucks, with undeveloped human conflicts thrown in that are uninteresting and resolved in the most anticlimactic ways possible. There are only a few zombies in the entire film. Acting is hit or miss. The only thing I really liked was the red-tinted sky. This is very difficult to sit thru.

Bottom of the Barrel

Shanghai Fortress (2019) (Chinese Action) – Set in the future, the city of Shanghai, China battles to defend itself against an ongoing attack by an alien force. This movie sucks at world-building. It rushes thru the setup and doesn’t even bother to establish anything. Oh no, a bunch of aliens are attacking, let’s defend! This would be fine if the action and special effects were great, but they’re not. In fact, they’re basically crap. The CGI looks like a Playstation 2 game. At times it transitions to a boring drama, with story and characters that are not developed well at all. It’s all very generic and embarrassing stuff that feels like a rip-off of Independence Day.

Black Christmas (2006) (Canadian Horror) – Terror reigns inside a sorority house a few days before Christmas break as a series of menacing phone calls transform yuletide cheer into fear. The girls are hot and the Christmas atmosphere is a bit better than the original film, but that’s about it in terms of positives. It’s difficult to explain exactly why this film is so infuriating to watch. Part of the problem is that it takes itself seriously but feels stupid for practically every minute of its runtime. It’s almost as if the filmmakers attempted to be as annoying as possible, with some of the worst direction from the last 20 years. The dialogue and acting are atrocious, which really takes the viewer out of the film. There’s juvenile sexual content too. This remake adds a detailed backstory of the murderer, which is incredibly dumb and lame. The score is lazy. Just watch the original.

 

[divemaster13]

Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess (1971)

A group of young ladies just out of reform school find it a tough go as they try to make their way in society. One has a boyfriend who is a DFG*, and she steals from her father to support his habit. Another has a husband who quit the Yakuza but is now dying of TB (and she's pregnant). Another lost her job at the girlie cabaret and another is surviving on nude modeling gigs. And the local Yakuza shakedown thugs are bothering all of them.

More comedic touches and characterization and less violence and nudity than the typical pinky violence films of the era (for example, Female Prisoner Scorpion: Beast Stable or Criminal Woman: Killing Melody or Cloistered Nun: Runa's Confession or Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs or Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom or Female Yakuza Tale or Sex & Fury). In fact, in Delinquent Girl Boss: Worthless to Confess, there's only 2-3 topless scenes and nothing really attempting to titillate. Sure, you'll never see any SAK** in a mainstream Japanese film, but usually we get more of a show.

Even so, I liked it! The characters were engaging and you could tell the director was trying to create a sympathetic story. Sure, the gals all team up at the end with swords and attack the Yakuza headquarters and slaughter everyone, but that's the expected payoff.

There's a scene where one of the young ladies working as a cabaret girl is trying to get one of the salaryman customers to fork over more $$. "I've got to buy school books for my college classes." HAHAHAHA. There's nothing new under the sun, is there?

3 stars (out of 5)

* degenerate fucking gambler
** silky Asian kitty