Brian Clemens' Thriller 5.1 If It's A Man, Hang Up

[michaellevenson]

Suzy Martin is an American model , flavour of the month, big contract secured by her agent/ advertising man/ boyfriend Greg Miles. Suzy waiting in her apartment for Greg receives a phone call from a heavy breather, nothing is said, just the sound of breathing.


Next evening Terry Cleeves her ex turns up with an Italian called Bruno Varella, they are let in by the janitor as Suzy is out and Terry is an old friend.

Suzy and Greg arrive and Terry explains that he's here because Bruno wanted to meet her.
There is real tension in the air because Suzy is now working for Greg's ad agency rather than Terry's and he's been eased out of her private life too.
After everyone leaves Suzy on her own receives another phone call from the heavy breather, this time the caller speaks, saying, " Suzy....Suzy...I want you."
She is naturally disturbed by this.


Meanwhile outside in the street Greg leaving Suzy's flat is attacked by Terry and beaten to the ground.

Suzy calls the police and Constables Henry Venner and Dicky Lovell arrive at her flat. They give her the usual advice and she promises to contact them if he calls again.
They leave and then Suzy hears someone in her kitchen , entering through the door leading to the fire escape stairs on the side of the building. It's Greg, bruised and bloodied. Suzy administers first aid and suggests he calls the police, but Greg declines, he's a married man and doesn't want it known he's been here.

Back at his flat Terry comes clean and admits to Bruno Varella that he attacked Greg , jealousy got the better of him.
Bruno seeing blood on Terry's hands says he guessed that's what happened and advices him to give Suzy up, reminding him of the English expression of girls being called birds, well Suzy has flown his nest.

 

[michaellevenson]

At the police station Henry Venner and Dicky Lovell are at their lockers at the end of their shift.
Dicky, " you think Suzy Martin is interested in you Henry."
Henry, " leave it out Dicky."
Dicky, " she's out of your league pal."



Suzy arrives at Greg's advertising studio for a film and photo shoot.


The phone rings and Greg's assistant Betty answers it, and tells Suzy it's for her. Suzy is shocked, it's the breather! How did he know she was here?
Back at home Suzy has just fed her dog Toby, a little Terrier, in the kitchen when the phone rings. Yes it's the phantom caller with a message, he speaks through a small metal cylinder making his voice echoing " you lead me a dog's life Suzy, a dog's life."

Suzy runs into kitchen, Toby has gone, the door to the fire escape open.
Another phone call, the phantom- caller says she can have Toby back if she tears her dress off. The caller is close by, holding binoculars, saying, " I don't like that dress , tear it off,( lustfully) I want to hear it tear."

Suzy , " please don't hurt him."
Voice " he's such a little dog Suzy tear the dress."

Suzy crying, tears her dress, the phantom caller is satisfied, " there's a good girl, and good girls should get their reward."

Murchison the janitor arrives at her front door holding Toby, saying he found it outside her door. Suzy gratefully takes Toby, not really wondering if Murchison could be the caller.
Later another phone call, nervously Suzy answers it, the phantom caller with another message, " no more evenings out with other men Suzy, I don't like it. I'm close by Suzy watching you."
The doorbell rings and Constables Henry Venner and Dicky are there checking she's alright. They see her torn dress and promise to report this immediately and get advice.
Suzy calmer now says she believes the caller having satisfied his desire to scare her won't bother her again., not a sentiment shared by Henry Venner.

Next evening Greg arrives carrying flowers for Suzy ready for an evening out on the town but Suzy doesn't let him in and says any personal relationship is over and it'll just be work from now on. Greg sees another man behind her in her flat, Suzy shuts the door and Greg throws his bunch of roses on the floor and storms out of her building. Is he the caller?
The Man in Suzy's flat is actually her brother Peter come scrounging a place to sleep for the night, he's got his own place but he is a bit drunk after a night out, so Suzy let's him sleep on the sofa.
Another visit from the ever attentive Henry, dragging his pal Dicky along, and Henry is a bit miffed to see Peter who he thinks is a boyfriend, he says nothing of course, but Dicky sees the funny side and as they leave Dicky says, " you don't own her Henry, and never will."

 

[michaellevenson]

Early next morning while Suzy still sleeps Peter lets himself out, he crosses the road but someone is waiting in a car and runs him down.
Henry and Dicky the cops come round with the bad news. Suzy distraught and obviously connects Peter's death with the phantom caller.

Meanwhile Terry Cleeves through being interviewed by the police knows about the calls Suzy has been getting, as does Greg, and Terry receives a call himself, the caller a man, tells him to meet him for information that will help Suzy, as Terry is keen to outdo Greg as far as helping Suzy, he agrees to a late night rendezvous out in the country.


Suzy in her flat when the doorbell rings, it's Bruno Varella.
Suzy, " Oh it's Bruno...something."
Bruno, " Varella."
Bruno says he can't get hold of Terry who he hasn't seen for 2 days now and wonders if that's usual of Terry to just run off without a word. Suzy says , yep, Terry is Terry, a man of impulses. Suzy tells him Constable Venner is taking a keen interest in helping her, and is definitely alarmed when Bruno says, " why is this Constable Venner getting involved, what's in it for him....promotion?"
Suzy, " Henry's not like that."
Bruno, " ahhh, Henry now, not Constable Venner, you know in my country a single girl living alone would not be allowed."
Suzy, " I can take care of myself."
Bruno, " yes, you're so smug aren't you!?"
Suzy, " it could be you!! "

Suzy runs into her bedroom and locks herself in, Bruno screws his face up in frustration, he meant to say confident not smug, his English isn't great. Bruno bangs on the door pleads with Suzy to be sensible, but on getting no answer says he's leaving.
He goes to front door opens it, closes it, but hasn't gone anywhere! Bruno paces room when doorbell rings, he quickly goes into kitchen as Suzy comes out of bedroom and opens door to see Henry Venner and his partner Dickie checking she's okay
Henry Venner asks Dicky to wait in the patrol car while he talks more with Suzy.
Henry has an idea, he has a country cottage and asks Suzy if she'd like to spend a weekend with him, get away from the phantom caller. Suzy agrees, and Henry says as they don't know who the caller is she must tell no one where she's going.

Unbeknown to them Bruno is in kitchen listening at door, holding dog Toby , stroking it keeping it quiet as he listens.
Henry leaves and Bruno quickly removes himself from kitchen via fire escape stairs.

Next day Henry turns up to collect Suzy for the weekend away
The phone rings and Suzy answers it, it's Greg.
Greg, " Suzy , I need to see you , I've had a chat with Bruno Varella."
Suzy, " sorry Greg, but I'm going to.."
Henry ends the call pronto,
Henry ,"are you crazy don't tell anyone.."
Suzy, " but not Greg.."
Henry," I trust no one , now let's go."

 

[michaellevenson]

Henry and Suzy in a red sports car arrive at his cottage in the country. It's a small cozy place, a bit cold as no one been here for sometime says Henry who lights a log fire.
Suzy sees a recent newspaper on the table so obviously someone has been here. Henry says it's probably just a tramp, got in through the upstairs window which isn't very secure.


Henry pops back to his car to fetch wine.and some provisions they've bought on the way down.
Suzy alone when the phone rings, she picks it up and is terrified....IT'S THE PHANTOM CALLER but how?

Henry comes back in, sees Suzy in a state of shock.
Henry, " what's the matter Suzy?"
Suzy, " it's him! He called, how did he know I was here?"
Henry, " did he say anything?"
Suzy, " yes he wants to meet me! In the local pub...now."
Henry, " okay Suzy, this is what I hoped inviting you here. He's coming out into the open, stay here I'll be back."
Henry leaves for a rendezvous with the psycho...or is he?

Suzy nervously alone in cottage when she hears a deep echoing voice, " SUZY...SUZY "
Suzy runs to front door checking it is locked, the voice continues, " YOU'VE ALREADY LOCKED THE DOOR SUZY."
Coming down the stairs is Bruno holding the metal cylinder, he speaks through it again, " SUZY....( now not through cylinder) I'm very sorry to scare you but I couldn't resist it. Your precious Constable Venner is gone eh? I thought he would."
Suzy, " Bruno?!"
Bruno, " something, that's what you always say, Bruno something."
Suzy, " YOU! YOU RANG"
Bruno, " yes from the call box nearby."
Suzy breathing hard, tries to keep calm, " get it over with, you've tortured me long enough."
Bruno, " torture? Why should I want to torture you? You think it's me NO! Where do you think I got this cylinder.....upstairs in his bedroom!"
Suzy tries to run Bruno grabs her shouting.
" LISTEN TO ME...TODAY IN YOUR FLAT I DIDN'T LEAVE. DON'T ASK ME WHY BUT I STAYED, I OVERHEARD YOU SAYING YOU WERE COMING HERE. I'VE BEEN GETTING VERY ODD FEELING SINCE TERRY DISAPPEARED. SO I SAW GREG MILES, HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING."
Suzy still struggling to break free.
Bruno, " LISTEN TO ME!! I GOT HERE AHEAD OF YOU, YOU'RE STILL NOT LISTENING TO ME."
Bruno grabs Suzy by the arm and drags her over to a writing desk, he opens desk and pulls out a scrapbook that has been put together, every page a newspaper or magazine cutting of Suzy, pictures of her glued to the pages."
Bruno, " every page is you.....this is not a collection but an obsession by someone who is sick in the head, your Constable Venner."
Suzy shakes her head, " no.... Henry wouldn't do that."
Bruno, " okay okay calm down, let Terry convince you?"
Suzy, " Terry's here?"
Bruno, " yes of course, in the back room, let him convince you."
Suzy enters the room Bruno pointed to, she enters the darkened room and sees Terry sitting on an armchair. She touches his shoulder and he tips forward onto the floor dead.
Suzy runs out screaming into Bruno who smugly says, " okay now you're convinced."
Bruno suddenly collapses, Henry has whacked him from behind.
Henry smiles " I knew that phone call was just a trick to get me out, I sneaked back the same way he did, by the back door. It's okay Suzy...its over."
Suzy starts coughing and spluttering, Henry attentive, " I'll get you some water."
Henry runs into kitchen , Suzy runs over to wall and pulls down a hunting rifle that is hanging on the wall. Some cartridges are on the top of a sideboard, Suzy loads them into the gun. She unlocks front door but before she can leave Henry returns with glass of water he is confronted by Suzy holding and aiming rifle at him.
Henry, " Suzy what's wrong ?"
Suzy, " I know all about you."
Henry, " Suzy you've flipped, it's over, you don't have to be afraid of me."
Suzy, " I've seen Terry."
Henry seems genuinely shocked, " Terry's here!?"
Suzy, " stay where you are, don't move."
Henry slowly approaches saying, " just give me the gun Suzy...please...that's my girl..just...."


Total surprise on Henry's face as Suzy fires, the blast throws Henry across room and up against front door that now slowly opens pushing Henry's body away.

 

[michaellevenson]

Dicky Lovell Henry's patrol car partner enters and kneels down and examines Henry's dead body.


Suzy cries, " I didn't want to kill him....I had to."
Dicky, " I know..I knew he was up to something when he didn't turn up for our usual Friday night drink. I went round to your place, then thought of this place. Poor Henry, he was sweet on you, couldn't believe you'd even consider him. Wanted to impress you, bringing you to his country cottage, I suppose he did say it was his...yes he would."
Dicky locks the door , " IT'S MINE, so is the car, I just let him borrow it from time to time. So now it's perfect, just me and you, in my place ....all weekend."


Suzy paralyzed with fear slumps onto rocking chair as Dicky stands crouches next to her, then stands directly behind her , hands on her shoulders, then they move lower to her breasts.
Dicky is breathing heavy, his voice full of frustration and lust, " I've always wanted you, there's no one to bother us I've got rid of them all. Just you and me....tear that dress off Suzy I WANT TO HEAR IT TEAR."
Suzy crying, " please no.."
"TEAR IT ...TEAR IT..!!"


Suddenly blood splatters over a carriage clock on the mantelpiece, Dicky reaches to his head, blood spurts out, Dicky falls dead.
Bruno holding a bloodied penknife gasps with relief, " it's over Suzy."
Suzy sinks into a chair head in hands " oh Bruno...something."
Bruno laughs, " my name is Varella...Va..Re..La."



Cast;
Suzy.....Carol Lynley
Bruno....Tom Conti
Greg.....Gerald Harper
Henry....David Gwillim
Dicky....Michael Byrne
Terry....Peter Angelis

 

[michaellevenson]

Thriller (1973)