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STATUS UNCERTAIN is a very cool title - repeal and replace Pegg and I might summon up some interest...

I have a cute gold-ish dalek broach somewhere, and somewhere else an 8" or so high battery driven dalek (black with gold trim) - both 60s, because I think my grandma gave me both of them.

I've narrowed it down the these: (a) frisky anagram? (b) Slovenian desert? (c) Rumanian dubstep trio entry for 2017 Eurovision?

True, true. And beware especially of the cloudy cider - if you can't see through that it's lethal scrumpy (people who don;t mind hard stares might call it "artisinal"), usually farmhouse-scale make and much more alcoholic than the regular shop-bought cider. And avoid pubs with wobbly...

@chainsaw_metal1 Does this make sense to an Iowa man? I remember having to rescue (euphemism for "remove from vicinity of alcohol and escort to bedroom") an elderly Virginian client. She'd been perched on a bar stool drinking what she maintained was apple juice. Going by the way the legs...

@chainsaw_metal1 I learned 2 new things today, thank you petal! Now if I were inviting selected Forum chums - you and Mrs Metal for example - to a Bonfire NIght celebration (we're English - we wait till November for nearly guaranteed crap weather - it'd be potatoes baked in their jackets in the...

It's a bit too urban where I am to do much of that unfortunately - but when I get back home for summer I'll have my own back garden - at least the neighbour over the back fence has replaced the evil-smelling propane barbeque (not that he ever issued an invite, just a foul stench) - now there's a...

HI Anouk, yes, but WHICH Wicker Man? I've only seen the original and the term "shit on a stick" (which is new to me and which I will now use relentlessly till I am told to stop) cannot in my opinion be justified in the same breath or sentence. I do have a very soft un-pc spot for any and all...

Now @Hux has mentioned steak may I remark that I'd happily go veggie for a 3 day stretch to work up to a proper medium rare rump steak with no nonsense about it. Fellow Brits of a certain age may remember when burgers were had at Wimpey bars, and failed entirely to seize the childish...

Well, you'd need a scoreboard with much bigger holes, and they'd still flop over distressingly. My dad made one that worked fine with spent matchsticks and we always had plenty of those - he was a confirmed pipesmoker and they never get properly ignited the first few times of trying, it seems.

@duzit And only NOW I notice we don't have a clickable wossname for "thank you so much, that's a very kind thing to say". :emoji_blossom::emoji_blossom::emoji_blossom::emoji_blossom::emoji_blossom: So I'll say it with flowers.

Mmmm, taking a narrowboat on a 7 mph pubcrawl with friends would be a dream come true, but best of all is this: OK you have to imagine the gelati, museums and vino collapso, but I couldn't be happier than here.

A very long time ago there was a Japanese festival in the City of London, which included a kabuki version of Hamlet. Turns out the traditional Japanese translation of the play takes a few liberties with Shakespeare's actual plot. The visual spectacle was amazing - exaggerated kimonos a-go-go...

@Elliot Thomas I'm banking on that for 2 reasons - 1. Dame Judi never did anything starchy in her life and I don't think she's about to start now 2. David Suchet's Orient Express was so different to the 70s film that the fact it had the same "who" what done it didn't matter - did you see that one?

I know Elliott, but so's Hamlet, really. The firs time you see it you don't know who's done what or whether there has been a murder, although it's been around a bit so the spoilers are well and truly out there. Same for Orient Express, I suppose.

Wise one, have you ever had the chance to see Peter Brook's version starring Adrian Lester? You will not regret tracking it down! David Tennant was also hot stuff in the part - not sure if it was recorded for DVD though. More distant Hamlet memories: Alan Rickman's was wonderful, Derek...

Seriously? :emoji_scream::emoji_scream::emoji_scream: The hotdogs were more fun....

And yet I must have seen 3 dozen assorted versions of Hamlet (including 3 of young Branagh's) and watch my favourite films and TV series on a fairly regular basis. Don't you find there's more to enjoying a good story than a simple surprise ending?

@Doctor Omega Jimmy Nail or Benedict Cumberpatch

@Hux I'd rate Brown Bottle (sidekicked by the Fat Slags) against even Deadpool...